235 replies to this topic

[Low_Budget_Hooker]

Hi, my name is Russ,....I have a broken fin......

[K_Mac]

I'm in. PM sent.

[paparock]

Thanks Avid for that kind introduction. Why do I qualify for the Broken Fin Fishing Fools group?

The bad boy that has me disabled is what the doctors call “demyelinating disease”. Now most doctors have not heard this name and even fewer have any idea what it is. Heck even the specialists in the field don't seem to understand a lot which is not what you want to hear as a patient. You may wonder why I am going to describe my condition here. It is simple really, men do not like to go to doctors and try to ignore early symptoms, take my advice and do not.

You see when my disease wanted to get my attention after me ignoring the symptoms for several years chalking them off to anything else other than something serious it ate a hole in the covering of my spinal cord leaving the raw nerves exposed. When I would move in certain ways the edges of the opening would strum those nerves like playing a guitar but to me it was like having my body plugged suddenly into a 220 volt electric socket. The pain was horrible but worse was that the Emergency Room Doctors could find nothing wrong. It took weeks of tests, MRIs, tests for epilepsy, the works and then bringing in a MS specialist to figure it out.

DEMYELINATING DISEASES OF THE BRAIN take a lot of what you were away. I have dealt with that. The damage to my nerves all over my body is permanent and slowly growing worse so I am going to enjoy what life, I have left, as should we all. I am going to see my specialist again tomorrow as I write this. The last tests have ruled out MS for sure now. They know my disease is in the same family but they tell me I may never know which exact one it is that will eventually rob me of the rest of who I am. I have lost a lot of my coordination, I also suffer from short term memory loss (no 50 first dates yet). Below you will find a link that will take you to the Internet Handbook of Neurology
http://www.neuropat.dote.hu/myelin.htm


Anyone having a bad time want to PM me or email me, I am a good listener and believe me I do understand.

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[Chug Bug]

This is a great idea AVID. There is probably more support here than one would think.  

[Murray]

i like fishing alone because i am deaf in one ear and i cant carry on a conversation without looking at the person's lips...it just gets annoying to me and i know it does to the other person when i have to say "say that again" every other minute.

it doesnt keep me from fishing but it keeps me from fishing with just one other person. i like group fishing becuase youre not always the aim of conversation.

[K_Mac]

After reading Paparock's post (and the PM he sent to me) I have decided to post the PM I sent to avid.  My problems limit my activity, but I am blessed in so many ways, I hope I do not come accross as feeling sorry for myself. You are right avid, Paparock's attitude and his gracious offer to me and others who might want to talk is inspirational. I will make the same offer; if anyone wants to talk or just howl at the moon, give me a shout.


avid

I unfortunately qualify for membership in this "club." Over the last couple of years I have had trouble with black outs. The accepted medical thought has been that it is heart related. I passed out during a tilt -table test where my heart rate went < 35 bpm before I went out. I had a pacemaker installed to correct this. It does keep my heart rate more regulated, but has not fixed the problem, so the testing continues. I have changed blood pressure meds more than socks the last several months . My blood pressure is more stable, but the problem persists. My driving, fishing, and most every other activity has been severly limited. Some days are pretty good, others not no much.  

I am still hoping and praying for an answer, but in the meantime I spend quite a bit of time writing, and talking to you and others on BassResource.com. I have come to think of you and many others on this site as friends. I can't fish much, if at all, most of the time but enjoy this site very much. If and when I get back on the water, I will be a better and more complete fisherman because of my time spent here. Thanks for your part in making this site a great place to spend time.

Kirby

[Glenn]

This is an excellent idea, Avid.  Can't say enough about you and the men who have stepped forward to post.  I, for one, HATE going to the doctor, but you guys have changed my mind.  Because of you, I'm going to suck it up and quit being a baby about it and just get 'er done.

This is a great thread.  I'm going to make it a "sticky".  

[Murray]

avid--i havent tried that

funny thing--i am a counseler at a summer camp session for mentally and physically handicapped campers, where i usually get a deaf camper because i know american sign language. one of my fishing buddies is also a counseler and special session and does not know sign language but is trying to learn it because on a windy day--its impossible to carry on a conversation.

[Chug Bug]

This is going to be a long post, and I'm not confident that I can compose it to where it "flows" properly but I will give it a shot. I am not phsyically disabled, so I don't want to categorize myself with the men who have posted before me, who are going through some very difficult times, trying to just "live" the normal life that they were accustomed to. However, if I can maybe shed some light on PTSD, maybe some of your relatives or friends can be helped. I know there are veterans, active soldiers, emergency medical workers, and maybe even a few other cops on this board, who will enjoy reading this post. My biggest concern is for the hundreds of thousands of troops who will hopefully be returning stateside, that believe me, will be forever and irreversably effected by what they have gone through in Iraq. I'm not quite sure how we as a Nation are going to be able to properly assist these brave veterans.
Now mind you, I'm not comparing myself to the brave fighting soldiers who are or were deployed in the middle east who are engaging in daily patrols and urban warfare. Far from it, but inner city and "ghetto" cops experience many similiar events. As do Paramedics, EMT's, ER personnel, etc who work in high crime or troubled areas.
My case is actually a bit of a landmark case for law enforcement, where the Federal Government has stepped in and changed the provisions required for a diagnosis of PTSD for emergency workers and first responders as it relates to disability retirement.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has always been diagnosed as an acute onset "one event" condition. Meaning that the victim of PTSD would have experienced a single event that caused overwhelming stress rendering him/her incapable of performing their duties. This usually applied to Officer involved shootings, near death experiences, murder/torture of children etc. The victim would show an almost immediate set of symptoms soon after experiencing their "event". I have experienced all but one of the listed events, but was not effected profoundly by any of them individually. My troubles were a result of a cumulative effect of having all of these things happen to me over a long (11 years) period of time. Thus explains the new Federal Guidelines put in place to consider the cumulative experiences of an officer for retirement purposes. This was a long medical and legal battle for me. My last day on the department was December 12th 2005. I was just officially granted my retirement on September 29th of this year.
For a time there, being a cop in the ghetto, was certainly ruining my life, marriage, interpersonal relationships, ability to sleep, function normally in society, and I developed a severe alcohol addiction.
I will get into some of my personal experiences. Please don't think I'm bragging. Just telling my story to guys I enjoy sharing with and writing experiences helps my condition greatly. I did nine years as a regular patrol cop (responding to 911 calls for service) and my last two years in the Gun Recovery Unit. As a patrol cop I was the reporting officer on over 70 homicides. (reporting officer is the first car to arrive at the scene) This would entail standing around the crime scene staring at the gruesome body for hours while detectives investigated, crime scene search processed evidence, and finally the one man medical examiner would respond. Requiring the reporting officer to assist with the bagging, wound search of the body, and transportation to the morgue. I can still see many of their dead faces staring back at me in dreams etc. During a vehicle chase, I struck an eight year old kid at about 70 mph. Permanently disabling him and rendering him a virtual vegetable to this day. I have been shot at, attacked with a samurai sword, hit in the head with a toaster, bottles, canned foods etc. I suffered a pretty severe human bite to my right hand which had me on HIV drugs for six months. Almost all foot chases would invariably end with a fight to subdue and arrest the fleeing felon. This resulted in various minor injuries on an almost daily basis. I began to despise the community I was working for and became very brutal in my arrests. If I wanted to fight for a living and share my ground fighting skills, I would MMA fight for UFC or PRIDE, not as a cop making 60,000 a year.
Eventually it all became much too much to bear. The last five years on the job, I would come home, ignore my wife, consume fifteen to tenty beers (every night) and call my cop friend and complain for hours while getting drunk about how much we hated our jobs, the citizens, our lives etc.
I was lucky to have gotten out, and am doing much better. I still suffer from the problem of interrogating people instead of talking to them, and I have an almost consuming hatred of liars. I still suffer a little from social anxiety and hyper-vigilence but am improving every day now that I live a normal life.
Thank you all very much for listening, and I hope I somehow helped someone. I have not had a drink since December 15th 2005 and I was a serious drinker, so if anyone wants to discuss alcohol addiction, PTSD, signs to look for in family members, or how these troops are going to assimilate back into society, please PM me.
                                                      Mike

[paparock]

Mike not all injuries are to the body. I (a 2LT.) was assigned to the Army Okinawa Drug Suppression Unit for nine months from the first moment it was started in 1971 until a Captain that should have been filling the slot in the first place relieved me. There was no SOP to follow just trial and error and believe me there were many errors. A police officer especially one in a big city assigned to a high crime district can see a lot of combat, and Mike it is just as much combat as my friends saw in Vietnam or our troops are seeing in Iraq today. In just 9 months assigned to that drug unit , I saw death's face up close and personal many times from strangers to friends, and from bullets to burning to death. Those images do not easily fade, neither does the face of the young woman as I can back from overseas in uniform that walked up to me and spit on me in 1973.

Our soldiers that come back from Iraq will need many things but nothing that any of us cannot offer. They need time to heal, understanding support, a caring ear, and Love. By love I mean the love of a brother, sister, mother, or father that lets them know that no matter what, when they are in need, you will be there for them and that means a lot. They expect such from their family but when it comes from strangers, it really sinks in to them that others with no vested interests care and in time they will adapt. PTSD is real and it affects both the physical and mental well being of the individual. So this old soldier recognizes your service and tips his hat to you and all that wear the blue who do try their best “to protect and to serve” and all too often pay too high a price in their personal lives.