Knucklehead Diet Tip #1
According to the World Health Organization, I don't know what that is but a lot of people who have more fact checkers than I do quote it and they don't seem to be sued much, according to the WHO folks, in 2010, 79% of us were overweight.
Since they never called me the real figure is 79.00000000001%.
I'm a fat guy they missed.
We rank #8 on the planet of Fat Nations. Blame me if we move up since WHO forgot me and is only hearing about my missed waistline today.
So if you dial up the web cam pointing at the US Person counter, the latest number I saw on there before writing this was 307,006,550. Now according to WHO, if 79% of us are XL, that would mean there are 242,535,174 fatties out there, plus one … you know … me. The one WHO forgot.
So I get off that us being born here web cam and go over to Amazon. Now none of this is even close to scientific, but it's just me on meds so you get what you get. Over at Amazon click on the category of books, JUST BOOKS, when you get that type in one word: DIET
Wait 0.0000000012 seconds and this number pops up: 65,247. That's not how many diet books they have for sale, that's the number of diet book TITLES listed. I'm sure there are a bunch of double downs between Hardcover and Paperback, but you get the idea.
Right now on Amazon alone there is ONE Diet book for every 3,717 fat people in our country.
So I'm thinking this; diets don't work.
Now all of you who are for diets, on diets, writing books about diets, selling stuff about diets, diet trainers, diet gurus, doctors with diets, skinny people with diets, life long dieters, and knuckleheads; I understand all your shorts are going to get all bunched up over that last statement, and I'm okay with that.
But diet people, listen to this; it ain't working.
We are #8 and climbing. 79.0000000001% of us are fat. And yet we have at our avail 65,247 book titles on losing weight. I'm thinking if each of those books weigh just one pound...we are fat there too, since I'm not sure we need 32.623 TONS of words about diets.
Diets are only good for those who sell all things diet.
Not us fat guys.
Here's Knucklehead Diet Plan #1 tip:
Get up off your butt, drive over to your local bookstore, park as far away as possible, go into the store and find the bargain bin of old diets books nobody believes in anymore, buy ten books, or TEN POUNDS OF DIET BOOKS, walk with them back to your car, drive back home, and three to five times a week CARRY your ten pounds of diet books around your block once a day.
DO NOT READ THE BOOKS.
Just carry them. Might want to just duct tape them all together for ease of weight loss.
I'm pretty sure that when us Knuckleheads follow my diet plan we will lose just as much carrying the diet books as we would if we opened and read the darned things.
Ten pounds of diet books, three to five times a week, once around the block.
And book publishers out there, it would be great if you could just keep those books coming - Hardcover Please.