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Scott F

Man Laws Of The Square Table

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The men of the square table have the job to deem what is manly, and what is not manly in common male situations.
We here, need to decide what is manly and what is not manly in common bass fishing situations.
(I know some of you have trouble with being told what to do, but this is a joke, don't get worked up.)

 

 

 

#1 Man who takes another man fishing to a spot where neither man catches fish, shall provide his guest enough beer to forget that any such fishing trip ever occurred.

 

#2 A bass that has been hooked, reeled in, lipped, and released is considered a CATCH. Follows, jump offs, long distance releases, and touches do not count and NOBODY CARES.

 

#3 No man shall photograph any bass estimated to be under 14" (and subsequently post it on all your favorite fishing forums).
Just tell us about it- we believe you.

 

#4 At no time is it ever permissable to use the term "rubber worm".

 

#5 When a non-fisherman asks if you're catching anything, you shall always reply, "Nah, this lake sucks. Nuthin' in here 'cept carp."

 

#6 When the boat plug is forgotten, a digital picture of the infraction with the boat owner shall be posted on the internet to thwart off repeating offenders.

 

#7 No fish shall be reported as a 5 pounder unless the scale is pulled down to at least 3 pounds. 

 

#8 One shall never ask another fisherman where he caught his fish.

If asked where one caught said bass, it is always acceptable to reply "In the mouth"

 

 

That's enough from me, who's got more?


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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"#5 When a non-fisherman asks if you're catching anything, you shall always reply, "Nah, this lake sucks. Nuthin' in here 'cept carp."

If you get skunked, refer to #5.

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A man shall always refer to pre-spawn as " fat bottom girls".

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Here's a few more.

 

#9  Man shall not go directly to a spot shown by another man the day after being shown said spot.

 

#10 On road trips, with the duration being more than 45 minutes, but less than two hours, the purchase of breakfast for the driver by the passenger shall be acceptable in lieu of gas money.  

In addition, under penalty of ridicule, no vehicle, regardless of value shall be exempt from gravel roads/muddy roads.

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Man passenger must never ask if he can drive owner's boat!   Owner may offer on his own, if he wishes.

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Never, ever take a man's last can of sardines or viennas, even if they are offered!

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If fishing with a buddy and you loan him a lure and he looses that said lure on a fish no appology needed.  If he looses it in the trees or brush he has two options, replace it or go get it.

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The men of the square table have the job to deem what is manly, and what is not manly in common male situations.

We here, need to decide what is manly and what is not manly in common bass fishing situations.

(I know some of you have trouble with being told what to do, but this is a joke, don't get worked up.)

 

 

 

#1 Man who takes another man fishing to a spot where neither man catches fish, shall provide his guest enough beer to forget that any such fishing trip ever occurred.

 

#2 A bass that has been hooked, reeled in, lipped, and released is considered a CATCH. Follows, jump offs, long distance releases, and touches do not count and NOBODY CARES.

 

#3 No man shall photograph any bass estimated to be under 14" (and subsequently post it on all your favorite fishing forums).

Just tell us about it- we believe you.

 

#4 At no time is it ever permissable to use the term "rubber worm".

 

#5 When a non-fisherman asks if you're catching anything, you shall always reply, "Nah, this lake sucks. Nuthin' in here 'cept carp."

 

#6 When the boat plug is forgotten, a digital picture of the infraction with the boat owner shall be posted on the internet to thwart off repeating offenders.

 

#7 No fish shall be reported as a 5 pounder unless the scale is pulled down to at least 3 pounds. 

 

#8 One shall never ask another fisherman where he caught his fish.

If asked where one caught said bass, it is always acceptable to reply "In the mouth"

 

 

That's enough from me, who's got more?

 

 

 

 

 

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But if I didn't than who would believe that I caught a fish on my pink Pop R??  :Idontknow:

 

No man shall "leap frog" another boat, unless anchored, or cut in on a bank on another angler. 

 

No man shall lose a fish before it's seen without it becoming the biggest fish to have every swam in that particular body of water. 

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Offering unsolicited advice on fishing styles, techniques, presentations, equipment, etc. should be avoided. Asking advice on any of these things is fine; telling a grown man what or how to do something unasked is what wives are for. 

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ha, love it.

#1 Let me say that if you want to get drunk, fish with me because I get skunked alot so I will need plenty of beer

#2  I would remove touch.  If you get touch it you caught it.  (Hank Parker will back me up on that one)

#3 needs an clause to allow tiny fish meant to show the fisherman's humility (see pink popper above)

 

Along with Silas' mention above, non-boaters should also never ask to go and get the truck.  If the boat owner wants you to help with the boat or the truck , he will ask.  You should not put him in the position of saying that he does not trust you. 

 

Boat owners should make every effort to offer fellow fisherman a chance to help.  (I always ask if they are comfortable taking the boat at launch or driving the tow vehicle.)

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Never, ever look anybody in the eye while eating a banana.

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#1 rule for me, if you need to pee tell the man first so that he does not think his sump pump has kicked on for some reason only to turn around and see something none of us should ever have to see.

 

#2 make sure you dont get it on the boat or you will be cleaning it at the end of the day, and how you clean it will be at the descression of the boats owner.

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#1 rule for me, if you need to pee tell the man first so that he does not think his sump pump has kicked on for some reason only to turn around and see something none of us should ever have to see.

 

#2 make sure you dont get it on the boat or you will be cleaning it at the end of the day, and how you clean it will be at the descression of the boats owner.

 

oh man, i was at Smith Mountain Lake a couple weekends ago. it was sunday morning and i was just out on the deck of my uncles house smoking a cigarette and watching a boat fish my uncles dock and the one next to it. i finished my smoke and went in the house and was staring out of the big window still watching them fish. next thing i know the guy on the back of the boat is messing with his pants and starts taking a leak and the same time my aunt walks in the living room and asks what im doing. i said that guy down there is peeing right out in the open off the boat. she went out on the deck and yelled to him and embarrassed him and he jumped/flinched midstream. he was probably cleaning the boat at the end of the day LOL...

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oh man, i was at Smith Mountain Lake a couple weekends ago. it was sunday morning and i was just out on the deck of my uncles house smoking a cigarette and watching a boat fish my uncles dock and the one next to it. i finished my smoke and went in the house and was staring out of the big window still watching them fish. next thing i know the guy on the back of the boat is messing with his pants and starts taking a leak and the same time my aunt walks in the living room and asks what im doing. i said that guy down there is peeing right out in the open off the boat. she went out on the deck and yelled to him and embarrassed him and he jumped/flinched midstream. he was probably cleaning the boat at the end of the day LOL...

What an idiot, the wasn't even smart enough to have done an "about face"....geezzsshh. Lol

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No man shall end fishing trip prematurely for any number of reasons (e.g. wife calls, forgot to bring lunch, forgot water, etc.)

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#11 No man shall hold his fish away from his body for a picture unless said fish is already a monster.

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No man should ever remove another mans trophy from the live well and silently release it while the other said man is on the bow relieving himself; especially when no picture has been taken yet of said fish . . . .

 

:eyebrows:

 

A-Jay

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#11 No man shall hold his fish away from his body for a picture unless said fish is already a monster.

 

 

No man should ever remove another mans trophy from the live well and silently release it while the other said man is on the bow relieving himself; especially when no picture has been taken yet of said fish . . . .

 

:eyebrows:

 

A-Jay

 

 

Umm, are you two still fishing together?  Did Dwight release your "trophy" before you could get  a pic?   :eyebrows:   :eyebrows:    :eyebrows:

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Umm, are you two still fishing together?  Did Dwight release your "trophy" before you could get  a pic?   :eyebrows:   :eyebrows:    :eyebrows:

 

No he'd never do anything like that - would he ?

 

This is all just in fun . . . .  mostly.

 

A-Jay

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If one man drops his camera, phone, or any other high price piece of electronics overboard and loses it, the other man must back him up on any story told to the wife.

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1) While taking a leak off the side of a boat, the coangler should refrain from fishing until at least the second shake.

 

2) Because the cooangler should never know when that second shake has occurred, the responsibility will then be on you to announce when you are finished by stating, "boy that water's cold" followed, perhaps, by "deep too."

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