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Glenn

Rumors & Lies About You

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Why is it in some bass clubs that somebody can spew a bunch of lies about you into a willing ear, and is accepted as "fact".  Then that person with the willing ear, in turn, starts spreading around these "facts" about you.  Next thing you know, people are mad at you for something you never even did!!  Not only that, but some people are so angry at you that they're not even willing to listen to the truth, or believe it when they hear it.

Has this ever happened to you, and if so, what, if anything, did you do about it?

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Hey Glenn: you know when I was angry, for no good reason I was part of stupid crap like this, You know I don't know if it's boredom or someone with an axe to grind, but when I am angry I notice people take that time to feed you this crap. One has to be careful when they get angry, because misery loves company

 My Uncle Tony, had the best view on this and so do a lot of my closer friends  " What other people think of me is none of my concern"

of course this is easier said then done.

Time has shown that you are a decent guy, I am sure it shows in your club, the best you can do is go on with your life and just give them all a hardy @$%@^ YOU!!!!

hey it's your site and your $#&^@&!ING FILTER, what can I tell you

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Hey Glenn I'm not sure what to do but this is pretty common in my area. It's so bad that there are guys that want to leave when they see a guy show up for a tournament. Constant arguing, yelling, back stabbing, and even a few threats. These guys all wanted to join these clubs and now many of the clubs have trouble keeping members.

All I can offer is the view of someone seeing it happen not someone that it's happening too. It's really hard to be the new guy coming in when this is happening. Many of these guys have 20+ years together but here I'm only 22. Obviously haven't known them long enough to know what's really up. You really just have to sit back and see whats actully going on and try to figure out who to believe. That's pretty hard.

A situation got so bad at one point they wanted to kick our president out, but it turns out he's the guy that should be trusted, not the rest of them. It's just a really unfortunate situation.

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From experience, the best way to deal with it is to have a club meeting, whenever everyone can be there, whether it's before or after a tournament. Then when everyone is there, open up the floor and squash it. Get it all out and let people know what you think and listen to what they are saying. If the rumors are about the breaking of tournament rules, then whatever the rules say obviously goes. But if its more a moral problem, then your just going to have to accept that other people are not going to have the same views as you, and then you should ask for them to accept yours as well.

Hope this helps whatever the problem is.

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Sure, this happens.

The guys in my club "gossip" all the time.

Some of it is true; some of it is false; and the rest of it is exaggerated.

I just listen but do not pass it along.  :)

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It sounds like a big case of jealousy.

My thoughts exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I need to hear some juicy gossip.  Give it up.  

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I think his quote says it all. I don't remember who said it but I think it is a true statement

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

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That is a great quote. Wish more people would pay attention to it.

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I think his quote says it all. I don't remember who said it but I think it is a true statement

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

Great Quote by Coach John Wooden

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It sounds like a big case of jealousy.

Yep, that's exactly what it is.  I guess that's a form of flattery, really.

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I am in a Jr. Club and I had a guy quit and start saying things about me. The kid fishes the lake everday we were having a tourney on  and it was a tough day. Nobody was catching fish. Well he didn't win it and my buddy that I spent the night with the night before won. So now he is saying I was paid.....I purposely took us to spots where we can't catch fish. Heck I wanna know where the money is! Lol. And I wanted to win the tournament so why would I not want to catch fish?  :-/ Some people amaze me.

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Bass clubs are notorious for having squabbles. I've been in bass clubs that have come to blows during meetings. It's ridiculous. It's like being in a kindergarten class and every kid wants the same crayon.

I'm not exactly sure of your particular situation but I feel sure in saying that if it was me, I would most definitely confront the person(s) starting rumors and exhibiting the symptoms of diarrhea of the mouth.

If the dam is leaking, you have to plug the source of the leak. Otherwise, it will never stop and most likely become a bigger problem.

Has anything else happened with this recently?

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Update: Keri and I "confronted" the guy who started it all, and he admited I had nothing to do with the rumor he started, and that he was to blame.  He admitted his mistake and apologized.  However, the guy he talked to is still convinced the rumor is true.

That said, nobody in the club believes the rumor, and a number of them have come down on this "believer" pretty hard.  They guy is stubborn and won't change his mind, but it's clear nobody is in camp. In fact, they've all lost any credibility in him now.

So, in the end, the guy is just digging himself into a hole deeper and deeper while my reputation has been kept in-tact.  

It's just disappointing it had to happen at all.  I thought better of my fellow club members.  Lesson learned.

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Glad you settled this Glenn. When I was in High School I worked at a local McDs. I had a manager who was the mother of a girl I dated start spreading all sort of stuff about me. How I stole from my store, beat her daughter, etc. Just nasty, unbelievably nasty stuff. I never in my life heard of someone just making crap up like this before.

Some folks believed it. However, the managers at my store, had her immediately fired when she told them the story. They came to me to tell me what they heard.  They knew me and knew she was making stuff up. What I learned from that was the people who matter, who really matter, know you they know a steaming pile of BS when they hear it. If there is any question whether it is BS or not they will come to YOU and ask you.

Folks who just believe stuff like that, IMO, aren't worth the time and effort it would take to go about setting them straight. If anything the exercise showed me when push comes to shove, who I could trust and who I couldn't.

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Rumors, gossip, the same thing.

My daddy told me when I was a kid, "Gossip is like a pile of manure.  The more you stir it, the worse it stinks."  He did not use the word manure.

The best practice is to ignore it.

When I was lobstering, one of my friends, Milton, told me that so and so was telling people the Coast Guard was watching me because I was running drugs.

I asked Milton if he believed it, and he said "No."

Anyone who knew me well, knew better, and those who didn't did not matter.

Those who want to believe the worst about someone will do so regardless of the facts.

My dad's advice has served me well througout my lifetime.

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To add one more old saw: "Those who matter don't mind. Those who mind don't matter"

In the end you'll be judged by the way you conduct your business, not on the ramblings of some jealous fool. It is amazing that you got an admission and apology though. I guess you got to give the devil his due for that.

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