From an old high school friend who has a good sense of humor. 

Please add to the list.

Number 12 is a classic!!!

Enjoy!

 

Here are 12 things to consider as we get closer to closing the door on one of the most horrible years of our lifetime.

1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.

2. I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

3. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

4. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

5. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came into my house & told my cat. We laughed a lot.

6. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

7. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

8. This virus has done what no woman has been able to do. Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home!

9. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

10. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

11. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room.

12. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & ask for money.

LOL!!

 

 

Karl

2020 --- The year the "Left Coast" discovered fly-over country, by virtue of not being allowed to fly.

That is genius...

 

here are a couple of more:

“Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs: We roam the house looking for food, we’re told ‘no’ if we get too close to strangers, and we get really excited about car rides and walks.” —Unknown

 

 “I’m not saying I’m going to suck at homeschooling my kids but my daughter just asked, ‘Dad, what’s a synonym?’ And I replied, ‘It’s a spice.'” —Joe Heenan

 

“My husband and I switched sides of the bed this weekend and that’s what we call ‘vacation’ now.” —Ilana Glazer

 

“Day 7 of social distancing: Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He’s a web designer.” —Unknown

 

“All the kids who were taught common core math are about to learn ‘carry the one’ from their new home school teacher.” —The Super Mom Life

 

"Just by seeing how some folks wear their masks, I see why contraception fails."

" I can't believe people's survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper"

couldn't resist putting these up...

 

• I need to get in shape... If i were murdered right now my chalk outline would be a circle
• If my body is ever found on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there
• Day 12 of my no chocolate diet... I lost hearing in my right eye
• I have come to the conclusion that buying fishing stuff and actually using all of it are 2 separate hobbies!
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