I OWE MY  MOTHER . . .

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.

I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you

Into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .

" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck ,

You're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear ,

In case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.! "

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.

Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ***.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world

Who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about! ANTICI PATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going

To get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think

I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,

Don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables,

You'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think

You were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

;D  Very good post!

Great post.

What is everyone getting their mom? Mine is 65 and doesn't really need anything except me spending some time with her, which I am going to do. I want to get her something nice though and don't have a clue as what to get? She has lost her legs due to diabetes and doesn't get out much so I am thinking about taking her on a trip but she doesn't like to fly. I know time is the most important thing as she is getting up there but anyone one have any ideas?

Shoot I forgot about mothers day. I don't live with my mother or close to her. So I think I will give her a call. But I live with my grandma so shes geting a card. I would really like to get her some thing else but cant afford it right now. Hey michbass spend the day with her. Also if you have a wife and kids pawn the kids off on your father for day. So then you could spend all day with both of them.