Being a Science teacher, I found these to be funny, although I think some of my students have used these before. :-/ Enjoy!!

Subject: Science

Children's science exam answers.

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon,

because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)

A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.

The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels

A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?

A: A small lie

Q: What does "varicose" mean?

A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."

A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome .

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

I stand a chance to be smarter than a fifth grader as long as these students shows up.     LOL

That was too funny.      Loved the opening line,     Name four seasons?

Matt

Funny!! LOL!!! ;D ;D ;D

You mean those answers aren't correct?

Falcon

When I was little I watched Barney. You know the dinosaur. He taught kids something that disney , nickalodean , or anything else couldn't come close to.COMMON SENSE Which is something todays kids lack. It shows on their tests also. ;D

Those are AGGIE answers.  ;D ;D ;D

Those are AGGIE answers. ;D ;D ;D

OHHHHHHHHHH!!! BURN BURN BURN!!

HOOK 'EM!!!

Those are AGGIE answers. ;D ;D ;D

HEY, NOW!!!!!!! >

When I was little I watched Barney. You know the dinosaur. He taught kids something that disney , nickalodean , or anything else couldn't come close to.COMMON SENSE Which is something todays kids lack. It shows on their tests also. ;D

Barney? How about Mom and Dad? : In my day we learned by doing and getting busted in the chops if we did something wrong. (In an old man's voice) "You young whipper snapper!!!"

Those look like some of the answers my mom gets when she is checking papers.

Outstanding.

I am sending it to my friend who is a fifth grade teacher.

She will love it.