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Sam

Why Parents Drink

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WHY PARENTS DRINK

   

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his

bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

   

Then he saw an  envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that

was addressed to 'Dad.'

   

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling

hands and read the letter.

    Dear Dad:

   

   

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom   and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is

so nice.

   

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

   

But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

   

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

   

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.

   

She deserves it.

         

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to  know your grandchildren.

   

Love,

Your Son Cody,

   

P.S.. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report  card that's in my center desk drawer.

   

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.

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I think I would have had a heart attack before I reached the bottom if my little girl every pulled something like that. I doubt I would make it to the punch line.

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