~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You can get more with a smile and a gun,

than you can get with a smile alone.

~~~

Light travels faster than sound.

This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

~~~

He who laughs lasts, thinks slowest.

~~~

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

~~~

Those who live by the sword,

get shot by those who don't.

~~~

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

~~~

The 50-50-90 Rule:

Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right,

there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

~~~

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end,

someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them,

five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

~~~

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

~~~

The things that come to those who wait,

will be the things left by those who got there first.

~~~

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.

Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

~~~

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

~~~

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

~~~

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.

A tax is a fine for doing well.

~~~

Remember, when you go into court,

you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.  

I may be crazy but didn't this EXACT thing get posted yesterday??  

I may be crazy but didn't this EXACT thing get posted yesterday??

Yep I just saw where Long Mike Posted it.

It's astonishing when to great minds think alike

Frogtog you're way too young to be this cynical. Most of us take a few more years to see through that dark a glass. ;D