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Just For Laughs

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Reading a joke book today. I couldn't help but share the fishing ones:

 

"I caught a 250 pound marlin the other day!"

"That's nothing. I was fishing and hooked a lamp from an old Spanish ship. In fact, the light was still lit!"

"If you will blow out the light, I'll take 200 pounds off the marlin!"

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A guy calls his boss and says "I can't come to work today."
The boss asks why and the guy says "It's my eyes."
"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.
"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead....

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Game warden: "You fishing?"

Man without license: "No, drowning worms......"

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Game warden comes up to fisherman without license.

"Catch anything?"

"Yes, I've got 5 in the livewell."

"Do you know who I am?"

"No."

"The game warden."

"Do you know who I am? The biggest liar in the country."

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lol

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Nice! 2 and 3 in particular had me on the floor. Here's a joke I heard a while ago regarding Steelhead:
 

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any," replied the first blonde.

"Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden. "Take all the debris you want." And with that, he left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two. "Doesn't he know that there are steelhead trout in this river?"

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OK, here is one of my favorites:

 

A fella keeps coming to the dock with his limit when everyone else is getting skunked.  The Warden invites himself onto the guy's boat on the next trip.  They pull up to the first stop and the fisherman reaches under his seat and pulls out a stick of dynamite.  The Warden says, "I knew you were doing something illegal!"  The fisherman then lites the fuse, tosses the stick to the warden and replies, "are you going to talk or are you going to fish?"

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Isn't the wonder of youth wonderful?

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A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?" "Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious? "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her. "But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?" "Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you do have all the equipment." MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.

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Heard this one today:

So fishing with my friend the other day, he catches a big ol' bass, takes it of the hook, reaches down under the seat and pulls out a bottle of whiskey. He takes a shot, swooshes it in his mouth and then spits in the bass' mouth and releases it. This continued on for quite awhile. Finally I asked him why he was doing this? He replied by saying, "when I let the bass go, he is going to go tell the other fish that he was caught and not to bite, but they won't believe him if he is drunk."   :rolleyes7:

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