I have an older 1990 40 HP evinrude. It does not have auto tilt/trim. I have a lock on the engine to keep it up or down. Lately, it has been a pain to lift up and slow to go down when I release the lock. I put grease on all the fittings there are however, no luck. i wonder if it has anything to do with this cylinder shaped thing with a wire coming out.

What you have looks like a power tilt only, probably an aftermarket unit someone added because it doesn't look like the OEM units I've seen.  The OEM unit usually has motor siting beside the cylinder that's almost as tall as the cylinder.   Tilt only units are not design to work as a trim, and will not hold the motor in a trim position when under power. As for going up and down, do you hear the pump motor running when it does not want to move? You can take it out and see if the motor moves freely without it. If it does, then the problem is in the motor/hydraulics. If it's stiff and still don't want pivot, you may need to take the pivot apart, clean and lube it.

If the hydralics is the problem and you don't want to spend the money on fixing it, you can take it out a install the shock system back in there.

It is not a power tilt/trim