1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. do not walk ahead of me,

for I may not follow.

Do not walk beside me either.  Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a

leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn , so if you're going to steal your

neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of

car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their

shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you

have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed...... skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to

fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and

put back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark

side, and it holds the universe together.

17. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a

laxative on the same night

1-19 funny in their own right....#20....priceless hahahahahahahahh

Very good rules to live by.

That was great Muddy.

Falcon

21: Fastest was to end an argument - If you're wrong admit it; If you're right shut-up  

Great stuff ;D ;D ;D

22. Everyone knows how to save the ship after it has sunk.

23. Suspenders are the oldest form of social security.

HaHa! that made my day mate, thanks!

"If at first you dont suceed, skydiving is not for you."

HAHAHA. I also like the last one.

haha.

funny.

Muddy , you're the best. Keep em coming.

HOPE I CAN LIVE UP TO ALL THAT.....LOL...MY FAV IS #10.....BRING ON THE BEER....LOL