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frogtog

Anger Management Works!!

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON't know!

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris.

Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*** ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn 't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an axxhole !" and

hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'Jerk' next to it, and put it

in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a

really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a Jerk !"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic axxhole calling

would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the

telephone company. I'm ca lling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and sa id, "That's because you're a Jerk!"

and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had

patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting

for that spot, but the idiot igno red me .

I noticed a "For Sale " sign in his back window, so I wrote down his

number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first axxhole (I had his

number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW Jerk, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

He said, "Yes, it is.."

I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax .

It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."

I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen."

I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

He said, "Yes?"

I said, "Don, you're an axxhole !"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had

a problem, I had two axxholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea.

I called Jerk #1.

He said, "Hello."

I said, "You're an axxhole!"

(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, "Are you still there?"

I said, "Yeah."

He screamed, "Stop calling me!"

I said, "Make me."

He asked, "Who are you?"

I said, "My name is Don Hansen."

He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"

I said, "Jerk, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow rambler,

I have a black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don.

And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm reall y scared, Jerk," and hung up.

Then I called Jerk No. 2.

He said, "Hello?"

I said, "Hello, Jerk ."

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

I said, "You'll what?"

He exc laimed, "I'll kick your axx,"

I answered, "Well , Jerk, here's your chance.

I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that my gay lover was on his way over to kill me.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax I got there just in

time to watch two ******** beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

 

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Thats great.  ;D Reminds me of when I was younger and I would call two pizza joints on three way and put my phone on mute and listen to them try to take each others order.  ;D

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Thats great. ;D Reminds me of when I was younger and I would call two pizza joints on three way and put my phone on mute and listen to them try to take each others order. ;D

It's even better with chinese restaurants ;D

And that story made me laugh more than I have all day, Thank you I needed that

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That is pretty funny. Any one ever try it with Mental Institions?

On another note, What is funny is when You look on the Caller I.D. and you know it is somebody you do not know answer the phone "Domino's Pizza may I take your order?" or "(Insert Name of local nut house)" These also work for those annoying little Indian telemarketers that speak little to no english that have an accent like Apu from the simpsons.

                           -searoach

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