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hookingem

Special interest essay.

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Finished this essay up tonight for a scholarship essay contest . Topic was a special interest which you can turn into a career TBH I don't care if I ever fish the elite series, but it sure did flow well. ;) I guess these people reading these essays for kids applying for scholarships don't want to read novels (350 words max.) :D :D Figured A few of you guys may enjoy it.

Fishing may not seem fun to some people, but to me fishing is something I truly enjoy. My love of fishing started at an early age. When I was three years old my dad already had me casting my own rod and reeling in fish on my own. By the time I was six I was out on the James River in our canoe catching smallmouth bass, some as large as 3 pounds. As the years passed my dad and I got our own kayaks and began fishing from them. For my thirteenth birthday my parents got me a small 10 foot Jon boat that I took to local ponds.

     Now at the age of seventeen I have moved up to a 15 foot Jon boat and higher quality equipment, or tackle. Nothing in life makes me happier than being out on the water at six o'clock in the morning, away from the hustle and bustle of daily life, and enjoying the serenity of nature. I hope one day to turn this love for fishing into a career. I plan on attending college and pursuing a degree in business, a degree I plan on putting to put to use when I start my own bait and fishing supply store. While I work on starting my own business, I will continue to fish, and I hope to one day become good enough to earn a sponsorship as a pro bass fisherman.

     Even if I don't make it to the professional bass fishing level I will be doing something that I truly enjoy and something that I hope I can also turn into a profitable career. I've heard that if you find a career doing something you truly enjoy, you will never really work a day in your life. I hope that I can turn my passion for fishing into a career I can enjoy for many years to come.

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Are you looking for constructive criticism before you submit this, or are you just sharing it with us?

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Criticism would be perfect will be submitted tomorrow. Thanks for reading  :)

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Well, the first thing I noticed is that it's not really an essay. It's just three paragraphs. Your're competing for a scholarship in an essay contest, so you need to make sure your paper is in essay format.

I. Introduction

A. Subject

B. Main Points

C. THESIS

II. Point One

A. Intro and explanation of point

B. Evidence

C. How point relates to thesis

III. Point Two

A. Intro and explanation of point

B. Evidence

C. How point relates to thesis

IV. Point Three

A. Intro and explanation of point

B. Evidence

C. How point relates to thesis

V. Conclusion

A. Restate subject

B. Summarize Main Points

C. Restate THESIS

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Well, the first thing I noticed is that it's not really an essay. It's just three paragraphs. Your're competing for a scholarship in an essay contest, so you need to make sure your paper is in essay format.

I. Introduction

A. Subject

B. Main Points

C. THESIS

II. Point One

A. Intro and explanation of point

B. Evidence

C. How point relates to thesis

III. Point Two

A. Intro and explanation of point

B. Evidence

C. How point relates to thesis

IV. Point Three

A. Intro and explanation of point

B. Evidence

C. How point relates to thesis

V. Conclusion

A. Restate subject

B. Summarize Main Points

C. Restate THESIS

I understand this completely and have written numerous essays in this format spelled out above. I guess Its my mistake for calling it an "essay". I was limited to 350 words. Its more of a statement than an essay. Like I noted if I had more opportunity for additional detail etc. It would by all means be in the form you have listed. I do appreciate you taking the time to read it and give constructive criticism!  Thanks! :)

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I understand that you're limited to 350 words, but I think I would still put it in essay format. Right now, it just says that you like to fish. You hinted around about why you enjoy it, now you should elaborate. Chances are good that whoever judges this will know nothing about fishing. They don't realize that while they look across a body of water and see waves and boats and ducks, you see cover and structure and fish. They don't know that you can't sleep the night before a fishing trip because every time you close your eyes you see a bass busting a topwater. Make them understand, and your paper will be on their minds when it's time to pick a winner.

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I understand that you're limited to 350 words, but I think I would still put it in essay format. Right now, it just says that you like to fish. You hinted around about why you enjoy it, now you should elaborate. Chances are good that whoever judges this will know nothing about fishing. They don't realize that while they look across a body of water and see waves and boats and ducks, you see cover and structure and fish. They don't know that you can't sleep the night before a fishing trip because every time you close your eyes you see a bass busting a topwater. Make them understand, and your paper will be on their minds when it's time to pick a winner.

hmm I liked some of these ideas. May send you a revised edition In a PM tomorrow.

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PM me tomorrow. I'll be happy to take a look at it and possibly do some editing for you. Mondays are my slowest days (crazy right?), so I should have plenty of time available.

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For the help I might be able to make you a deal you cant pass up on those Tro-Kars  :o 21$ shipped.....

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They don't realize that while they look across a body of water and see waves and boats and ducks, you see cover and structure and fish. They don't know that you can't sleep the night before a fishing trip because every time you close your eyes you see a bass busting a topwater.

Or that you catch your self sleep fishing on the edge of your bed like you have a rod in your hand and you're pushing on the wall like the "boat" is going to hit something.

No? Just me?   ;D

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Hot d**n Birddog......if I had the internet when I was in high school with contacts like you I would have had even better grades.  I think it is awesome that you would help out like that.  Good luck with the "essay". 

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