took lower unit off how do i get to the gears?

The short answer to that one, that's what manuals are for. 

 

I strongly suggest you get one and read up on what you are about to do, because it's a good chance you are about to get yourself in place you are not going to like.

 

I was going to ask if you took the shift cable loose and tried adjusting the linkage loose and tried to manually shift it to make sure there was not a problem with cable or linkage, but I guess it's a little beyond that point.

 

Now that you have it off, go up and down with the shift rod and see if it's locking the gears in.  You will probably have to turn the drive shaft a little to get them to lock.

 

As for getting to the gears, to even get started, it takes a special puller to pull the bearing carrier out, and it has to come out to get into the unit.

I'd assume it's like building a rear end for a car (which I've done recently).  Don't touch it unless you know the details inside and out.  If you need to set backlash on any of the gears, or reset up old gears, and get it wrong, it won't last very long.  I'm pretty sure you do need to set backlash...so yeah, read the service manual first.

its not locking into forward

All I'm trying to do is make sure you are not tearing into a good LU.  Check it while you have it one the ground and see if it's engaging the gears in both directions.  Those are pretty tough LU's but there are many times linkages can get out of whack and cause them not to fully engage in one direction of the other.  This is a whole lot more common than the LU causing it. 

 

If you have to replace any gears, it' requires a special jig to set it up, so if you put it back together without it, you may be buying a replacement LU pretty soon afterwards.

 

Also, for what most of the hard part in that things cost, you can find a good used LU cheaper.

True i have it off and can spin my prop shaft forward and its not spinning the shaft that would go on up in motor, but will turn it if i go counter clock wise it does.. Can hear it slipping in gear housing.. Taking it to someone tomorrow to get it fixed $$$$

Sounds like the dog is bad..