This was funny, there's hope for all of us !!!

Walmart Application...

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas .

They hired him because he was so funny.....

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old wretched)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who

will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,

whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be

applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz

style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can

haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and

post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more

intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP

TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do

you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a

winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no!

On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a

fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest

thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE ....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR

KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

***Old People Rock! ***

That's great lol! ;D

Quick.. What is Avid's real name!?

That's funny but this application has been circulating around for years now.

Quick.. What is Avid's real name!?

dont you mean long mike??  ;D

I know Avid's hole name.  It's Anus.  

I know Avid's hole name.  It's Anus.  

Long Mike 1

Avid 0

Friend works in a bank.

A man comes in and fills out an application for a loan.

In the box where it asks for name of closest kin he puts down a second cousin.

Friend asks him if that is his closest relative and the guy says "yes, she lives across the street from me."

Go figure.