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93 things to do at walmart! ( the other 8 coming-I will include link to the other 8)

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1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them

and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals

throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get

to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the

spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,

especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I

think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what


11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off

and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen

you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid


14. While walking through the clothing department, ask

yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk,


15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're

taking it for a "test drive."

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about

five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the


18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store

as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look

mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll

only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from

the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around

saying,"...I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"

upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,

"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired

employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any

Shnerples here?"

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale

battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from

"Mission: Impossible."

35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while

squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I

need some tampons!!"

36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to

your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet

food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the


46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at

something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,

assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those

voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and

relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain

that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little

umbrella in it.

51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice

possible "sex and candy"

52. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your

head and walk around the store casually.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the


54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run

between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror

while you pick your nose.

57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes.

(Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly

ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act

as spastic as possible.

59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and

women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch

everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with

various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse

through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare

them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you

and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is

breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you

do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was

another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME

darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto

the ground screaming and having convulsions.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people


65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and

begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of

shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the

boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every

perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another

girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way.

"hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy

shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way.

"hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples

carts when they don't realize it!

70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of

super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean

in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front

of your nose and saying "Oh god, your over powering the


71. Hit on the elderly.

72. Hit on 5 year olds.

73. In the food aisle, pretend like there's a little bug, slowly

move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left

as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the

ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like

crazy. Then finally yell out "Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was

the biggest Cockrouch I've ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!!

Hey look, there's another one!!!" Then Repeat.

74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat.

Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a

prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to

people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.

77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your

friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those

electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they

don't know you.

78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for

toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretend

that your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over

wanting to use it, start barking at them until

they run away crying.

79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind

customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your


80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say

"Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter

Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of

french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say

"Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you

say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from

Caldors, but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like

everyone else your know. You digust me" Then walk away

mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley- girl-

like as you can

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people

asking where the rash cream is because your family and all

your friends seem to have a rash too.

84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your

"multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern

person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old

girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should

sound like this: "Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly

good time.(English)" "Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta

Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)" Etc.

85. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms

and legs around like your having some kind of massive


86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the


87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to

leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your

walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to

go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then

quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away

as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger,

your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while

singing the circus song.

89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department

90. Put lingerie in the men's department.

91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men's carts when they turn


92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that

someone istrying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over,

start crying and saying "All I ever wanted was a little

attention" Then run away crying.

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while,

start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just

stay mesmerized.

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Good luck with some of those.

BTW, #73 might just get you killed....

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or you could just go fishing.

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Guest muddy

Ol # 94 Go to the dressing room, go in and lock the door. Wait a couple of minutes and scream out  HEY THERE'S NO TOLIET PAPER IN HERE

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Hate to say it but #24 and #67 are the same lol!

Good ones though!  ;D

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Once again video taping people's reactions might win someone some money from americas funnest people.  Or it might get you arrested and/or possibly beaten.


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Once again video taping people's reactions might win someone some money from americas funnest people. Or it might get you arrested and/or possibly beaten.


LOL!!! ;D ;D

;) 8-)

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As funny as some of those things are, it doesn't compare to what just happens naturally at Wal-Mart on any Saturday or Sunday - I tell my wife it's like Disneyland with all the characters walking around.  A couple of years ago a buddy of mine and I took our kids to a soccer tournament in another town not far from here.  We spent the weekend at a motel and stopped by the Wal-Mart after the games to get swimming stuff for the kids - while we were cruising the parking lot looking for a spot, an entire wedding party - bride in long white gown, goom in powder blue tux, thee brides maids and three goomsmen came out.  The bride and goom got into a car decorated with crepe paper, old shoes and tin cans and drove off while the rest of the party threw rice at them.  Believe it or not Ripley.

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I have done #'s 9, 12, 16, and 85. I should start adding to the list next time I'm there

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