Chuck Norris dont teabag, he potato sacks

ROFLMAO!!!!

lol come on ryan, i know you got a chuck norris joke for me

mmmmmkay  ;D

-The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do:

I like the Chuck Norris Quotes!

This is one of my favorites:

-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.   :'(

Chuck Norris shoots whiskey into his neck with a syringe.

Here's some

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever

Chuck Norris once taught a class called "*** Kicking 101". There were no survivors.

Chuck Norris Isn't funny, stop laughing.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.

The boogy man checks his closet for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did NOT want to be called that.

;D ;D

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is

;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris does not sleep....he waits.

Under Chuck Norris' beard there is no chin....only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he is really pushing the earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he ran around the world and punched himself in the back of the head.

My personal favorite....

After a night of hard drinking, Chuck Norris does not throw up....HE THROWS DOWN!!!

When Jesus goes to sleep he prays to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

That is a good one. I haven't heard that one before.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

the easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough

Chuck Norris challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Tes..... Counting" Contest...Chuck Norris won by five.

It is a scientific fact that Chuck Norris can not have a mortal father.The best theory scientist could come up with was that he went back in time and fathered himself.

In 2000, there was a ceremony to aknowledge Christopher Reeves acomplishments, Chuck Norris gave the opening speech and told Christopher Reeves to stand up and take a bow,  and he did. Then was swiftly roundhouse kicked back into his wheelchair. RIP Christopher Reeves

When Chuck Norris jumps into a lake he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chucked

Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on earth once a month, therefore they bleed for a week  

*There are tons of these over here in Iraq in the porta johns!!!*

Chuck Norris the original SHE-MAN-O.

Chuck Norris the original SHE-MAN-O.

 

blasphemy

Check out www.chucknorrisfacts.com. Not only are there a ton of Chuck Norris lines, but you can buy pre-made T's or design your own.

One of my favs: Remember the Soviet Union?  They decided to quit after watching a Delta Force marathon on satellite TV.

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits.

One of my favorites: If you have 5 dollars and Chuck has 5 dollars he has more money than you.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck doesn't have anything on Michael Phelps...

Chuck Norris got into a knife fight with wolverine.during the fight, one of chucks testes was cut off. We now know it as Jupiter

Chuck doesn't have anything on Michael Phelps...

Is Chuck Norris' love child.

                 -sm