I think I'm confusing you. I'm not saying control her,I mean control yourself.Don't whistle at every fine lady that comes along...If you truly love your wife/mate/girlfriend you wouldn't be doing that otherwise I'd take a second look at the relationship again.

I just don't see anything wrong with having friends of opposite sex.I have a few friends who are chick and she has a few friends who are guys.

You are right though,it starts with trust muddy.This is where people mess up,if they can't trust their mate,they shouldn't be together.

Maybe back in school, but there's no more just my friends. we both are friends together with friends, we don't have our own friends anymore. If I or my wife had a friend that didn't care for one of us then they no longer was our friend. Its a marrige now. you gotta get along with me and the wife since we decided to be mates for life

I laugh at this, if someone thinks-Hey honey, I'm going over to Julie's tonight to watch a movie ;D is a proper marriage, then it must be a different generation I'm not in tune with :I've always believed your wife should be your only female friend to hangout with

I think thats crap if your gonna go hangout with another woman instead of your wife????

WELL PUT!!!!!

My wife is my best friend and my only true female friend. There are ladies I work with or go to church with that I'm friendly with but am I going to be hanging out with them? Hell no. What's the point? If I want female companionship, I'll hang out with my wife.

As grimlin pointed out, control is the key. However, wouldn't you agree that you can't shoot yourself in the foot if you leave that gun alone? Don't put yourself in a position to MAKE a bad decision.

All the opposite sex companionship is there waiting for you at home. If they're not enough for you, perhaps you need to rekindle the friendship or seek counselling. No offense intended to anyone.

I still disagree....We have no problems who our friends are we know them all.My wife knows mine and i know hers.It may be a different case with you and yours.Perhaps trust issues with your friends? No offense. :

It's not like I'm best friends with my ex or something.Then i can see where it'd be a problem.

You got different views or different friends,because none of my friends would pull that crap,neither would hers.

You guys are putting "female companions" and "friends" in the same category. If i was your wife i probably wouldn't want you hanging out with other females either the way you guys think.Simply because you are coming off as you couldn't trust yourself around them.

My only female companion is my wife.....others are just "friends".

And yes...i spend more time with my wife than my friends.Blowing off friends just because you got married is just stupid.

I still disagree....We have no problems who our friends are we know them all.My wife knows mine and i know hers.It may be a different case with you and yours.Perhaps trust issues with your friends? No offense. :

It's not like I'm best friends with my ex or something.Then i can see where it'd be a problem.

You got different views or different friends,because none of my friends would pull that crap,neither would hers.

You guys are putting "female companions" and "friends" in the same category. If i was your wife i probably wouldn't want you hanging out with other females either the way you guys think.Simply because you are coming off as you couldn't trust yourself around them.

My only female companion is my wife.....others are just "friends".

And yes...i spend more time with my wife than my friends.Blowing off friends just because you got married is just stupid.

Guess you're missing our point(s). There isn't a trust issue with our wives or friends. We just have different boundaries/values.

If you avoid situations where you're alone/one on one with women you'll never be tested and more to our point, no one HAS to trust you. Comprende? It's about putting your mate at ease and ELIMINATING any questions.

Would your wife be okay if one of her friends stopped by and had a drink with you while she waited for your wife to get home? Would you be okay if one of your friends stopped by to borrow a tool and had a couple beers with your wife while you're at work? Probably not. Does that mean you don't trust them? No; it's just inappropriate. Respect your spouse by not giving them ANY reason to doubt you.

And as far as blowing friends off because you got married..........well you chose her above all others so she comes first. If you're not willing to put her first, maybe you should have married one of them friends.  

To be honest...nope,she wouldn't have a problem.She knows them too.

I've already gone to somebody else house because their battery died on the car or they locked them self out of the house.I just say "Be right back,so and so locked herself out or something." Then stay for an hour just talking and shooting the breeze.

It all comes back to trust....because my wife knows I'm loyal and put her first.There is no reason to doubt me or vice versa for her.

Like i said My wife and family is first,all my friends know that.Anybody with common sense can tell that.But i sure ain't going to blow off a friend if she just wants to stop by and say Hi.

I pretty much agree with Grimlin.  My marriage has no boundaries at all.

We don't wear leashes, monitor activities and can be friends with whomever we choose.  If in fact when we see a pretty lady walking down the street she is the first to point her out to me, she knows how much I love art.

IMO tight restrictions by one spouse or another may just work against a good marriage.

I never trust the words of anyone preaching their own morality, often times they don't live up to their own preaching.

I still disagree....We have no problems who our friends are we know them all.My wife knows mine and i know hers.It may be a different case with you and yours.Perhaps trust issues with your friends? No offense. :

It's not like I'm best friends with my ex or something.Then i can see where it'd be a problem.

You got different views or different friends,because none of my friends would pull that crap,neither would hers.

You guys are putting "female companions" and "friends" in the same category. If i was your wife i probably wouldn't want you hanging out with other females either the way you guys think.Simply because you are coming off as you couldn't trust yourself around them.

My only female companion is my wife.....others are just "friends".

And yes...i spend more time with my wife than my friends.Blowing off friends just because you got married is just stupid.

Hey it should be cool to disagree, no problem.

It could be that we might be on the same point, I know I start more arguments with typing words than in person, proves that I'm not good at typing words to explain

I will quote myself again "we both are friends together with friends, we don't have our own friends anymore. If I or my wife had a friend that didn't care for one of us then they no longer was our friend. Its a marriage now."

What I can try to hit on in this is that we are a team now, we are a couple that have no separate checking accounts-my money is her money and vise verse. we do things together in life so, this includes friends, that's all.

I'm not preaching morality here either, just my IMHO. We don't use leashes or accuse one another, we just try not to be ignorant towards life, who knows what might happen to us? Its gonna be 20 years this August and we seem to be going stronger than ever.

Now for a true fact we all should agree on

No one can know what goes on in another's head.

I've seen good friends for years (really close friends)get peed off at each other(usually booze involved). Then what? Well you could be accused of just wanting to come over to "supposedly" fix the car? They might claim they never asked you to come over. I've seen that exact issue happen.

I do realize that it just might be the new generation outlook here. and Lord knows its way off from me, and thats OK. So I say in good report, Good luck with it all

We're all just expressing our opinions on why affairs happen and what we do/don't do to avoid them. Some take more drastic measures while others a more hands off (no pun intended) approach.

My wife and I are in our 17th year of marriage and are still on our first spouse so we must be doing something right.

Also, I can't imagine my wife pointing out women for me to look at Snook. Do you return the favor?

I still disagree....We have no problems who our friends are we know them all.My wife knows mine and i know hers.It may be a different case with you and yours.Perhaps trust issues with your friends? No offense. :

It's not like I'm best friends with my ex or something.Then i can see where it'd be a problem.

You got different views or different friends,because none of my friends would pull that crap,neither would hers.

You guys are putting "female companions" and "friends" in the same category. If i was your wife i probably wouldn't want you hanging out with other females either the way you guys think.Simply because you are coming off as you couldn't trust yourself around them.

My only female companion is my wife.....others are just "friends".

And yes...i spend more time with my wife than my friends.Blowing off friends just because you got married is just stupid.

Hey it should be cool to disagree, no problem.

It could be that we might be on the same point, I know I start more arguments with typing words than in person, proves that I'm not good at typing words to explain

I will quote myself again "we both are friends together with friends, we don't have our own friends anymore. If I or my wife had a friend that didn't care for one of us then they no longer was our friend. Its a marriage now."

What I can try to hit on in this is that we are a team now, we are a couple that have no separate checking accounts-my money is her money and vise verse. we do things together in life so, this includes friends, that's all.

I'm not preaching morality here either, just my IMHO. We don't use leashes or accuse one another, we just try not to be ignorant towards life, who knows what might happen to us? Its gonna be 20 years this August and we seem to be going stronger than ever.

Now for a true fact we all should agree on

No one can know what goes on in another's head.

I've seen good friends for years (really close friends)get peed off at each other(usually booze involved). Then what? Well you could be accused of just wanting to come over to "supposedly" fix the car? They might claim they never asked you to come over. I've seen that exact issue happen.

I do realize that it just might be the new generation outlook here. and Lord knows its way off from me, and thats OK. So I say in good report, Good luck with it all

 

Also, I can't imagine my wife pointing out women for me to look at Snook. Do you return the favor?

Of course, every chance I get.

First marriage and a 40 year old daughter, you can say been married a while.