So much for Weight Watchers....

Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart, for my dogs. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, that I had an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse,  I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again,  although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.  (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me.  I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my arse and a car hit me. ;D

She asked the obvious cause she was trying to pick ya up :  Come on has it been that long

;D ;D

You ain't right man !!!!!  ;D

I better elaborate, this is a story that I cut and pasted.  This was not me; I can bullshmit with the best, but I wouldn't have thought of this one! ;D ;D

That's funny,Thanks.

I better elaborate, this is a story that I cut and pasted. This was not me; I can bullshmit with the best, but I wouldn't have thought of this one! ;D ;D

Come on Brian, tell the right story.

We know you didn't get run over in the parking lot.

You were setting on the couch, tried to lick your jewels, fell of the couch and broke your neck.  ;D ;D ;D

Can you actually lick your own privates if you eat that stuff? Dry or canned???

ghoti, you beat me to it.

;D ;D ;D You guys remember what George Carlin said, "what the heck, if I could reach I would never leave the house!" ;D ;D ;D

Can you actually lick your own privates if you eat that stuff? Dry or canned???

Man, i hope my wife stays away from this thread.

hahahaha. You guys are too funny. If a guy could lick himself, he wouldn't leave the house !!!!

lol, good one Brian.   

That reminds me of another story where two friends saw a dog licking himself. One friend tells the other "I wish I could do that". His buddy replies with " well, maybe if you pet him first he'll let you".

That reminds me of another story where two friends saw a dog licking himself. One friend tells the other "I wish I could do that". His buddy replies with " well, maybe if you pet him first he'll let you".