A sad, old man was sitting on a park bench when along came a police officer. The officer asked the old man why he was so upset.

The old man replied, "Every morning I wake up with a wonderful 20 year old blonde. She cooks great meals including sausage, and bacon and everything I love. Then we make passionate love in bed. Afterwards, she gives me a bath, with handdrawn hot water, cooks me lunch and followed by more passionate love. In the evening, we'll have top the day off with a fantastic diner and yet more wonderful love.

The police officer gets a puzzled look on his face and asks, "Well, what seems to be the problem?"

The old man replied with a sad look on his face, "I can't remember where I live!"

Gremlins

I plead Not Guilty... ;D.

Your safe. Different spelling. 

Just let me know the next time you bring your stuff to Goodwill.

One of the best things about Alzhiemers is that there are fewer reruns on television

Also I can hide my own Easter eggs.

Not to mention you get to make new friends every day.