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mrmacwvu1

Wow

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 I don't how to start this so I will give you a little history. Some of you have met me and fished and golfed with and we have become friends. For those that know me I am sorry that this might be redundant. Well my father passed away about five years ago. He was my best friend. We hunted, fished and tended the farm together. I could have not asked for a better person in life to prepare me for this world. Did that mean I always did the right thing, absolutly not. However, he was still my dad.

 

 So on to present day, My mother has been going through a nasty bout of cancer, not that there is an easy one. I thought that she had finally turned the corner as she now wanted to go see and do everything.

 

Well today the doctor pretty much said that it would be best just to stop treatment. I moved 700 miles to take of her. Now she wants me to keep things quiet so the rest of the family does not worry. She is so much smarter and so much more graceful then I could ever be.

 

ps she was the one that helped me reel in my first fish with that zebco 33

 

it is only a matter of time and i dont know what to do

 

 

 

 

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My prayers are with you also. Each day is a gift. Treasure each one.

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It really depends how your family dynamic is. Your biggest issue with telling or not is how your family will react with you after everything is said and done. You tell or never say anything, only you can decide what you want to live with.

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So sorry to hear that mrmac. My thoughts are with you.

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I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I've had a few people in the church go through similar situations and it wasn't easy. Dealing with the inevitable passing of a loved one is tough; dealing with it alone is agonizing; dealing with the aftermath of keeping it from your family is ugly. Explain to your mother that you can't keep it from the rest of your family, that it's not right. They deserve to be able to say goodbye, and to share in the love and responsibility over the coming days. Also explain to her that you are going to have to live with them after she is gone, and that you don't want to do anything to harm that relationship. Mothers will typically bend over backwards to keep their families together.

Praying for you.

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I'm sorry. I lost my mom 3 years go. You only get one. I just sent a prayer up for you and your situation.

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Prayers sent your way. Like pastor stated if you have siblings they need to know, extended family not so much. You're in a tough spot between honoring your mother's wishes and dealing with the aftermath. Prayers for wisdom, strength, compassion and understanding have been offered.

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Know what your going through...may our good Lord give you wisdom and a peace.

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I'm very sorry to hear this.  The fact that your Mom has given you this most difficult chore tells me that she has a lot of trust in you.  But being put in the middle of following her wishes and keeping your family informed needs to be resolved for your sake if for no one else.

 

Has her doctor suggested calling in Hospice?

 

Most Hospice organizations will have numerous staff on duty to help your mother and the entire family through this time.  If they have not been brought in at this point, I would suggest that you contact her doctor to get them involved.  Besides in home nursing care, Hospice should have available both social workers and clergy that should help in making Mom understand that the entire family must be informed.  This takes away the need for you to confront her on the subject which is something I'm sure you don't want to do.

 

Leave this to the professionals, and talk to her doctor or hospice today.

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Here's what i would do.

you cherish the time you still get to spend with her. You make her as comfortable as you possibly can. You talk about the good times and try an forget the bad. You do whatever you can to help her enjoy the time she still has. Most importantly you respect her wishes.

It sucks seeing a loved one like this. It's absolutely terrible to experience this. I did with my grandfather And to a lesser extent my uncle a year later. I loved my pop like a father. I'm still haunted to this day by how much he had changed up to the end. It was the hardest thing I ever had to experience in my life.

I am so sorry you have to experience this. In all honesty yall will be in my prayers. Keppra your head up and try to stay positive.

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Embrace her and respect her wishes. She needs your support to make her next transition in life.

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Tell a trusted aunt, uncle or cousin for their input.

 

They will really be PO'ed if you don't tell them until she passes away.

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Peace and serenity to you and your family.

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