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Health/stress update

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I realize I haven't been around on the forums for a little while, so I figured I'd give an update.

 

After colon cancer surgery back in may, I will have completed round 6 of chemotherapy as of tomorrow. That leaves I believe 6, maybe 7 treatments to go. I had an extra week off, because I was supposed to go to Crystal Lake in Barton VT as I rented the cabin there that came with a canoe, but I didn't go because my girlfriend is also having health issues (she has pseudo tumor cerebri and her shunt has failed for several months and as a result she has difficulty seeing, keeping one of her eyes open, walking and really bad random pains and headaches pretty much all the time). Of all the times for this to happen, when I'm absolutely exhausted on chemo is the worst thing.

 

So with the week off, I feel pretty good right now. The only real notable side effect I currently have is acid reflux, which I'll have for about a week after each treatment. I made it fishing for a few hours on Saturday (got skunked), which I haven't been able to do because I usually get to the lake and fall asleep. I can't play guitar (my other hobby) either because I'm in and out of it, and having a hard time working 8 hour days, and if I don't have to drive my girlfriend to Boston on Sunday, I'll likely make it fishing this Saturday (have a friend's party on Sunday I'd like to stop by at least a couple hours and say hi to everyone), and maybe even this Monday too. Next weekend is an off treatment week, and I should feel even better then so short of an emergency, maybe I'll make it fishing then too!

 

I've been falling asleep throughout the day a lot prior to last Saturday. Not sure if it's all from treatment or stress. My dryer died, fridge died, a drain pipe in my basement burst and dumped sewage all over my basement, my porch roof has a leak, and whole bunch of other stuff. Also the door rods and latches on my '92 Cadillac Brougham were shot, and the only way to lock/unlock it was with the key, but it locked and did not unlock my driver's door. I was supposed to use vacation time from last year to find parts at a junkyard (no luck online), but that didn't happen when I was hospitalized for colon cancer surgery and used my remaining sick and vacation time, and I just didn't have the energy to deal with it when the door got locked so I bought a truck, '14 GMC Sierra with 26.8k on the clock, figuring I'd buy a bass boat someday, but that'll basically never happen now due to my health insurance refusing to ever cover a colonoscopy for me because I have Lynch Syndrome (genetic colon cancer for men) but I didn't, they would cover one every year at least after 50 in full.

 

Then work... they decided to set a completely arbitrary deadline for a large project at the end of July. We were only told this in June, and we technically got it done and management looked at me as the hero. Good for me, but I was barely able to work a full day, on vacation two weeks that month (which they almost asked me not to take but were unwilling to reimburse me for the campsites I rented of course and I told someone if it comes to that, consider those two weeks of vacation my two week notice so they didn't). Meanwhile the other senior on my team and also fishing buddy was working 8am-12am 7 days a week to get it out, so it upset me that management was thanking me instead of him -- I told them that too. Sure, I put in what extra hours I realistically could, but that wasn't a lot. Things have calmed down a bit since, but I don't trust management to not pull the same thing again, the way they see it, it worked for them once... also my short term disability which pays me in full when I am getting chemo treatments is about to expire, and I just can't afford to take a pay cut so after this weekend, I will have to work on some weekends to make up time.

 

And from what happened between my mom and girlfriend in the hospital, I don't think those two will ever speak again. Now my mom's telling my sister that my girlfriend physically assaulted her (which she denies). I asked my dad and he didn't want to get into it but he did say as much as "not exactly".

 

So when it rains, it pours I guess, so I haven't really been around much lately, but yes I am alive.

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Oh......my.

A verse comes to mind I've read in the big book....Don't worry about tomorrow as today has enough troubles of it's own.  

Hope the road gets better for you and your healing and strength come back quickly.

Tight Lines

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My wife has these decorative signs all over our house that has quotes on them one in particular comes to mind

 

"You don't know how strong you are until you have to be" 

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I know that it seems like things are getting worse but try to take things in stride. Take time to think about what you have good in your life. I believe you'll find more good than bad. I'm glad you are sharing what's going on. Too many people feel they can't talk about what is happening in their life. Praying for ya buddy. 

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There aren't any words anyone can say to you that will take away your burden. The best we can do is say we're here for you and we're pulling for you. Sometimes you have to divide life into small increments so you can have little victories. I was only 34 when my wife died. I lived one minute at a time for a long time. Soon I was living two minutes at a time. Then five etc... It will get better. Or you will get used to it. Either way it will seem better. Find little victories. Serve others. Focus your attention on someone or something else. When it gets overwhelming find someplace you can sit and close your eyes for five minutes. Meditate on the ones you love. Or take a trip in your mind to your favorite fishing lake. Eat well. Don't drink alcohol. Exercise when you can. Drink lots of water. Get enough sleep. Keep us updated. Peace. 

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Thanks guys!

 

Today I have to take my girlfriend to the ER out at Mass General. It's crazy stressful driving in Boston to be honest, the lanes are maybe 4" wider than my truck if that, etc. But I'm glad she's got to her senses. I had been telling her for the past couple weeks I think it's time to try the ER, she's in so much constant pain. This would be her first attempt at seeking treatment at Mass General, coming from Boston Medical Center who have just been incompetent and unprofessional in every way imaginable and then some (you guys wouldn't even believe me if I told you all the **** that she went through there it's so bad), so maybe this is a win in the end of things.

 

15 hours ago, Bass Turd said:

There aren't any words anyone can say to you that will take away your burden. The best we can do is say we're here for you and we're pulling for you. Sometimes you have to divide life into small increments so you can have little victories. I was only 34 when my wife died. I lived one minute at a time for a long time. Soon I was living two minutes at a time. Then five etc... It will get better. Or you will get used to it. Either way it will seem better. Find little victories. Serve others. Focus your attention on someone or something else. When it gets overwhelming find someplace you can sit and close your eyes for five minutes. Meditate on the ones you love. Or take a trip in your mind to your favorite fishing lake. Eat well. Don't drink alcohol. Exercise when you can. Drink lots of water. Get enough sleep. Keep us updated. Peace. 

I hardly drink as it is. I tried to drink a few beers camping around 9pm at night, and end up staying awake until after 9pm the following night! They told me I'd just feel drunker, which wasn't the case.

 

I haven't been able to really fish because I get to the lake and fall asleep. I was better for a few days with a week off, but yesterday I was in and out all day long. I was hoping to try and fish today, but I have to get my girlfriend out to the ER in Boston. Like I said in the prior post, maybe this will be a victory for us. Just hoping I don't fall asleep.

 

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On 8/31/2018 at 8:03 AM, 12poundbass said:

"You don't know how strong you are until you have to be" 

I think my girlfriend said something similar to me when I was in the hospital.

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Well I should add something positive. I only really started fishing last year. Hadn't really fished much in years, and I largely fished for mostly perch and trout on live bait before last year.

 

I was thinking about this earlier today when fishing which was only my second day to get completely skunked this year, and not the best lake to fish from shore due to limited access and lots of trees as well. I have put in my time learning about bass techniques and migrations, and despite getting maybe half the time on the water this year that I had last year, I definitely caught a whole lot more fish this year than I did last year.

 

So if nothing else, that's a plus!

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