After every flight, pilots fill out a form,

called a gripe sheet which tells mechanics about problems with the

aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on

the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are

some

maintenance

complaints submitted by pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance

engineers. By the way, the airline these came from is the only major

airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs

replacement.

Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very

rough.

Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.

Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.

Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.

Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces

a 200 feet per minute descent.

Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing

gear.

Engineers: Evidence removed.

Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.

Engineers: DME volume set to more believable level.

Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers

to stick.

Engineers: That's what friction locks are for.

Pilot: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

Engineers: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.

Engineers: Suspect you're right.

Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.

Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.

Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Pilot: Target radar hums.

Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.

Engineers: Cat installed.

Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument

panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

Engineers: Took hammer away from midget

LMAO  ;D ;D ;D

;D

And thats why I don't Fly.

;D ;D

Very funny

And thats why I don't Fly.

X2

I got this email years ago. It saved in one of my folders, but man it still funny every time. ;D

True or not, geez, that was a knee slapper!  I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.  

That's hilarious.

Falcon

That's hilarious.

Falcon

x2

Big T