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Bassn Blvd

Joke of the week thread.

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Anyone interested in a "joke of the week" thread. Start it on a Monday and vote the winner on Sunday?  Perhaps no more jokes after 1pm Sunday and vote the winner by 8pm.

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Sounds like a plan!  I'd be up for it.  I could see a lot of active participation, especially when the holidays die down and there is no fishing to do out in the cold.

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All of my good jokes would get me kicked off the site :(

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I'll start. You might remember this from about a year ago when I first posted it.

Two women sitting quietly next to each other...

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Did you here about the pirate and his parrot.......not...ok...

Well...there is a cruise ship..and on this cruise ship, there is a pirate and his parrot, they perform magic tricks

The parrot knew every trick of the pirates...and he would blurt out the secret to the audience....like..."skwak...it's in his sleeve"--"skwak...it's in his pocket"

Well...one day as the pirate was performing a trick and the parrot blurted out the answer...the pirate was MAD

So the pirate pulled out his gun...pointed over his shoulder at the parrot and shot...the parrot ducked the bullet..and the bullet hit a propane tank on exploded...killing everyone except the pirate and the parrot

So...they are floating on a piece of wood in the water...and the parrot goes....."Ok...I give up...wheres the d@&n ship?"

                                                         Ian

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Why must everything fun get put into a competition? I'm out on this one,gezz!!

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here is a couple

So this very very beautiful and voluptious(sp?) blond is in a casino in Vegas. she goes up to the craps table and throws down $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. before she rolls, she says, "i hope you all dont mind, but feel much luckier if i am naked when i roll the dice." so she strips down to nothing, rolls the dice and starts jumping up and down screaming exceitedly, "i won!!" she grabs up her clothes and her winnings and leave the casino. one dealer looks to the other and says "what did she roll?" the other says, "i dont know, i thought you were watching!!"

a man walks up to a bar and orders a beer. he chugs the whole thing down and slides the mug to the far end of the bar. he says to the bartender " i bet you $100 i can stand on this bar and miss in that mug without spilling a drop" the bartender accepts, knowing well that he cant possibly do it. so the guy gets up on the bar and proceeds to miss all over the place, on the bar, on the bartender, not even coming near the mug. the bartnder, even having just been urinated on, chuckles and says "you fool, why would you make that bet, it was impossible?" the guy says, " you see those two guys in the corner over there, i bet them $1000 i could miss all over you and your bar and you would laugh about it!"

;D

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So there's a pirated and a blue collar sitting in a bar.  The pirate has a peg leg, a hook hand, and an eye patch. after a few drinks the blue collar asks the pirate how he lost his leg, the pirate reply's

"aaarrg fell over board and shark bit me leg off!!"

After a few more drinks the blue collar asks how he lost his hand, he says,

"aaaaarrrrgg lost it in a shwash buckling duel, so i had to get the hook!!!"

After one more drink the blue collar asks him how he lost his eye, the pirate says,

"aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggg a bird pood in me eye!!!!"

The blue collar asks him how a bird pooping in his eye causes him too loose it, the pirate reply's like this,

"AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGG it was me first day with me hook!!!!"  

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lol yeh thats a good one boss. i think i posted it a few months ago, but i still like it.

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