This is from a joke i heard one time, but i actually got to use it yesterday in real life.

So i am at home, sitting on the couch watching TV. Wife walks in and says, " so whats on tv? " I replied "DUST". I was quickly met with a, " $%&@ you!" Mission accomplished.

I have said that one time to my wife, and ohh my god. I will not do that again ;D hahaha

The amazing thing to me is - you think I need instructions on how to start a fight with the wife

The amazing thing to me is - you think I need instructions on how to start a fight with the wife

What else is amazing is that someone married you. Im sure you and your husband are happy with each other. Yes, im calling you Q U E E R!

The amazing thing to me is - you think I need instructions on how to start a fight with the wife

LOL...been married about 10 years, I can say from day 1, finding a way to have a fight with my wife, not a particularly difficult task. LOL.

Thanks, I had the opportunity last night to try this. My ears are still ringing this morning from having them boxed.

"Does this dress make me look fat?"

"Does this dress make me look fat?"

No you are just fat!

Scenario 1:

Wife/GF : Where are you going?

Husband: Jim's house for a beer...

Wife: You have beer here.

Husband: *pretend, you didn't hear that and leave to go fishing*

Scenario 2:

Wife/GF: Where are you going?

Husband: Fishing....

Wife: WHAT AGAIN !@&*#!(*#!@&@(#%!@^(#%!@*%!#^%!^#%, *watch out for the flying book*

I've done both , I'm not married, but with my GF

Scenario 1:

Wife/GF : Where are you going?

Husband: Jim's house for a beer...

Wife: You have beer here.

Husband: *pretend, you didn't hear that and leave to go fishing*

Scenario 2:

Wife/GF: Where are you going?

Husband: Fishing....

Wife: WHAT AGAIN !@&*#!(*#!@&@(#%!@^(#%!@*%!#^%!^#%, *watch out for the flying book*

I've done both , I'm not married, but with my GF

Scenario 1 doesn't work unless you turn your cellphone off.

Scenario 2 well lets just say I can fill in all the keyboard symbols for you. 

Being married is like living near busy train tracks; after a while you just don't hear it anymore.

Great line from the Three Stooges:

Poll taker to Moe - "Are you married ?"

Moe - "No, I'm happy....."

Scenario 1:

Wife/GF : Where are you going?

Husband: Jim's house for a beer...

Wife: You have beer here.

Husband: *pretend, you didn't hear that and leave to go fishing*

Scenario 2:

Wife/GF: Where are you going?

Husband: Fishing....

Wife: WHAT AGAIN !@&*#!(*#!@&@(#%!@^(#%!@*%!#^%!^#%, *watch out for the flying book*

I've done both , I'm not married, but with my GF

Scenario 1 doesn't work unless you turn your cellphone off.

Scenario 2 well lets just say I can fill in all the keyboard symbols for you.

Forgot to mention, cell phone is conveniently left at home on the kitchen table with the ringer on, so she knows I left it at home.

Talk about getting an ear full in either situation LOL