Since we're making fun of our ethnicities

How come Italian's don't like Jehovah witnesses?

They don't like any witnesses

What's the difference between an Italian grandmother and an elephant?

50 pounds and a black dress.

How does an Italian get into an honest business?

Usually through the skylight.

What do you get when you cross an Italian and a Black Man?

A guy who makes you an offer you can t understand.

At the World Women's Conference, the first speaker from England stood up:

"At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."

The crowd cheered.

The second speaker from America stood up:

"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well."

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker from Italy stood up:

"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

Now that there is funny.

"But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

I must be a Blond...... I don't get it

Classic!

"But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

I must be a Blond...... I don't get it

It means he beat her black and blue and swolled her eyes shut. Very Draconian if I do say so myself

Ouch..........

thanks..........

HAHAH! that made my day!

"But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

I must be a Blond...... I don't get it

OMG, I read this joke to my wife,,, and she got it right away!!!! Now that's embarrassing,,,, she is a blond...... I think I'll go hide my head in the sand...

Ha ! LOL

Hey, this reminds me of a recent, true story....

So I was at a US Post office, returning a fur hat that didn't fit right. So the lady asks me, "Anything fragile, liquid, hazardous, etc" ?

And so, without really thinking, I said, "Nah.... It's just a bomber hat ! Doh ! I then I immediatly came back with..... "It's just a fur hat ! Like this one I have on: The lady just laughed, and said, "I think that will be fine"

Fish

Probably not a great idea to mention "bombers" at a post office, or on an airliner LOL

Ha ! LOL

Hey, this reminds me of a recent, true story....

So I was at a US Post office, returning a fur hat that didn't fit right. So the lady asks me, "Anything fragile, liquid, hazardous, etc" ?

And so, without really thinking, I said, "Nah.... It's just a bomber hat ! Doh ! I then I immediately came back with..... "It's just a fur hat ! Like this one I have on: The lady just laughed, and said, "I think that will be fine"

Fish

Probably not a great idea to mention "bombers" at a post office, or on an airliner LOL

As a retired professional traveler I can personally tell you that TSA or whomever they're called around the world have lost all since of humor with respect to certain words. Don't ask why I have that humble opinion.