Fishing Rhino

As the nominee for Secretary of State in Raider's administration, I must make one small correction to your question. Candidate Raider's, "Dear Raider" column is a takeoff on Abigail Van Buren's, "Dear Abby" column. Ann Landers, if memory serves is/was Abigail's sister. Ann also had a similar column which ran in syndication in papers across the country, and maybe around the world. It's a minor, understandable mistake, which many people make.

That's our daughter's dog. When I first hooked the fish, she saw the commotion and jumped in, trying to get a piece of the action. It was a zoo, trying to land the fish, while she was trying to retrieve it.

Could be a Bass Hunter. There are several companies that make this handy little pontoon type of boats, Pelican, Bass Raider, etc.

You can keep your Virginia snow. It appears to be more slippery than northern snow. We had the pleasure of traveling I-81 from PA to I-40 in TN on February 13th. We left MA early on Wed, Feb 12th and stopped in Troutville about three in the afternoon, just as it started to snow. We should have kept going and stopped in Knoxville. Hindsight is 20/20. In the stretch between Roanoke and Wytheville we saw six tractor trailers on their sides either in the center divider or in the ditch just off the shoulder. I can only imagine how many got sideways across the interstate and blocked traffic until they got one of the super heavy duty, triple rear axle wreckers to drag them back onto the highway. It took us about seven hours to cover that stretch of road between Roanoke and Wytheville, which included a two hour stop while an obstruction several miles ahead was cleared. When we got to the 70 mile marker the road was wet, but clear. Traffic finally was able to get up to the speed limit. From there it was a piece of cake. We returned through the same area on Saturday, just ahead of the storm you had on Sunday. I'm thinking that in a few weeks, I'll be headed south along the same route to attend the Road Trip. Don't think I'll have to worry about ice or snow storms by then.

I have no qualifications, integrity, or character. Of course I accept it.

As for question number 3. The only "dog pile" I know of are the piles they "drop" or "take" (this topic has been covered elsewhere) on your lawn. We do refer to a group of people stacked together as a "pig pile" When I was a kid, if someone hollered "pig pile" we'd jump on top of each other. And for 9, there is a simple answer. Put the handcuff on his wrist. Wrap the remaining chain around his neck then attach the free handcuff beside the first. A leg works as well as the neck in some cases. Special training is required to determine which is the more effective. I take the liberty to answer for Dear Raider only because as his Secretary of State (see his presidential thread) we have discussed these two issues along with the Director of Homeland Security.

Some wonder if there is intelligent life on other planets in the universe. I prefer to keep things local. Threads like this make me wonder if there is intelligent life on our planet.

The "K" is just a contraction of okay. Someone asked if it was a good store, and someone else answered "K", not great, not bad, just ok, or "K". As a nominated Secretarty of State in the Raider Cabinet, you are expected to know these things. What I don't know is what state do I represent as the Secretary of State, and will I only be one of fifty secretaries of state?

Unless you have pictures, it didn't happen.

According to Robert's Rules of Order, a dink is any fish smaller than the bait which caught it.

Now you've lost all credibility. A sadist enjoys infllicting pain on others. The proper word would have been masochist, a person who enjoys having others hurt him/her. Apparently you must have been asleep when Sensei Long Mike explained the proper, grammatical use of those two words.

Welcome back. How tough was withdrawal?

Dear Raider, allow me the privilege of answering the question. There are several ways of spelling distressed, including, but not limited to the following. abashed, afflicted, agitated, agonized, annoyed, anxious, badly off, beset, bothered, cast down, chagrined, chapfallen, confused, convulsed, crucified, discomfited, discomforted, discomposed, disconcerted, disquieted, distracted, distrait, disturbed, down to bedrock, embarrassed, feeling the pinch, harassed, hard up, harrowed, hung up, hurt, hurting, ill at ease, ill off, impecunious, , in distress, in narrow circumstances, in pain, in reduced circumstances, in straitened circumstances, inconvenienced, irked, lacerated, land-poor, martyred, martyrized, mortified, narrow, on the edge, on the rack, out of countenance, out of pocket, pained, perturbed, pinched, plagued, poor, poorly off, put to it, put-out, put-upon, puzzled, racked, reduced, short, short of cash, short of funds, short of money, sore beset, squeezed, straitened, strapped, suffering, tormented, tortured, troubled, twisted, uncomfortable, under the harrow, uneasy, unmoneyed, unprosperous, upset, vexed, worried, wounded, wrung

Dear Raider, I have been told by many that continuing to read your inane advice, and responding to it will stunt my growth. Is this true?

I'll suggest Lucky Lucy's Ladies' Ladles Ltd., for the business name. When they try to repeat that, their tongue will get tangled around their eye teeth and they won't be able to see what they are saying.

Time shares are so .......................................................... yesterday. I refuse to get into a conversation with anyone hawking time shares or anything else. I look 'em square in the eye, shake my head no, look away, and keep on walking. If they persist, I ignore them. Works like a charm.

There is no such thing as a "dink"...........................well, except for Dinky, formerly WMDinKY. They are pre-trophy fish. It's all in the perspective.

What, you didn't try to sell them ladles?

Does your trailer have surge brakes? If it does, that may be the source of the clunk. Another clunk can be caused by the fit of the hitch and the receiver.

I agree, for another reason. Luck plays a much larger role. It played a larger role when the chase format was adopted, and it plays an even larger role now. Granted you did not win a championship with some luck along the way. But you could not win a championship on luck alone. Now, you can get lucky and win a race without being competitive week in and week out, and you're in the chase. With a little more luck, you can survive to the final race which determines the champion.

The "plates" are only run at Daytona and Talladega. NASCAR will never take the plates off at those tracks. At the speeds they would run at those tracks cars would end up in the stands. That happened last year at the Daytona 500. While the car did not end up in the stands, a wheel assembly, including the spindle and A frames did. Some pieces of size ended ended up in the Earnhardt tower. Remove the plates? Not ever gonna happen unless they slow the cars by some other method. They were turning laps of 205 this year, during the race. Without plates, they'd be in the 230s or higher. NASCAR is a lot of things, not all of them good, but the last thing they want is for fans to be injured or worse.

One good whack with a ladle and he'd fold up like a cheap suit.

You are correct. And that's the point. I'll ask one more question. Given the choice between being yourself, or being the universe, which would you choose?

Without treading into forbidden territory I'll enter my thoughts in a different way. The universe cannot reason. The universe cannot make choices. The universe cannot change direction The universe cannot learn The universe is devoid of logic and understanding The universe has never created a single thing to improve or damage its existence The course of the universe is "set in stone" The universe cannot adapt etc. In spite of being puny, we have powers the universe does not.

You might have been sacked for using scrotum?