Sam

Enjoy Airline humor. Airline Announcements: United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people, we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!' ************ ********* ********* ******* On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.' ************ ********* ********* ******* 'There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane' ************ ********* ********* ******* An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a 'Thanks for flying our airline.' He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 'Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?' 'Why, no, Ma'am,' said the pilot. 'What is it?' The little old lady said, 'Did we land, or were we shot down?' ************ ********* ********* ********* As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan Airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: 'Whoa, big fella, WHOA!' ************ ********* ********* ********* **** After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, 'Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because sure as hell everything has shifted after a landing like that.' ************ ********* ********* ******* Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: 'We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.' ************ ********* ********* ******* Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo , Texas on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo ..... Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!' ************ ********* ********* ***** 'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments. ' ************ ********* ********* ***** From a male Flight Attendant: 'As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses... except for that gentleman over there.' ************ ********* ********* ********* *** Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City. The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, 'That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.' ************ ********* ********* ********* * After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.' ************ ********* ********* ********* * Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: 'We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways.' ************ ********* ********* ********* * Heard on a Southwest Airline flight - 'Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em.' ************ ********* ********* ********* * A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom; 'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles . The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax.... OH, MY GOD!' Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!' A passenger in coach yelled, 'That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!' ************ ********* ********* ********* * A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replied, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints." Boy! I WISH I COULD THINK THAT QUICKLY.

Yes, especially in high grass along the bank.

What they said above. My double secret pond has catfish and we consider them pets. We have an albino catfish and when I hit the pond next week I hope to see him. What ever you do, DON'T FEED THE CATFISH BEFORE YOU START FISHING FOR BASS. The catfish will follow you around the pond all day. I know. I found out the hard way!!!

Outstanding. I hate those large tournaments. Too many boats and pressure on the fish all day long. Where are you putting in on Buggs? Do you know how to get the water level and the level for it to be "in the bushes?" Logan and I can give you some input about Buggs on Personal Messages. I am fishing Buggs on May 16 for fun (unless the Virginia BASS Federation needs a nonboater to fill a slot) and on July 16 in a club tournament so we can't hook up before your April tournament to check out the lake. Sorry. Good luck and I hope you make the state team.

Sorry, don't eat fresh water fish due to the pollutants running into the water. Love saltwater fish, like redfish, speckled trout, flounder, etc.

Last time I fished out of a pirogue my cousin flipped us over. In the marsh above New Orleans on the other side of Lake Pontchartrain. Have fun and remember to yell "Geaux Tigers" when you set the hook and wear purple and gold at all times while fishing. Geaux Tigers!!! P.S. Are you a guy who can be used on a college baseball team as a relief pitcher and who can throw strikes? if so, I have the name of a college baaseball coach at a great university who could use your services. And Mitch, please go to the Introductions section and introduce yourself. Crawfish. Think crawfish.

Fish up and down Jordan Creek. Good fishing and this is one of the main creeks on the Chick where everyone uses they kayaks. Morris Creek is across the river and you can do just as well in Jordan Creek. Let us know how you do.

Nice photo in your avatar, Kyle. Great catch. As for Houston, it should be a wide open Classic with good weather, for a change. I'll go with Ike.

OO mod, WRB, Darren are correct with their posts. Where are your "magnets" set? How tight is your spool tension? Did you use braid as a backing for the fluorocarbon? Do you know an old pro's trick about using tape on the spool to stop backlashes? Note WRB's post. You can also use Scotch tape if you have it available at home. Do you know how to "balance" your baitcaster with the rod, reel and bait size parameters? Do you use any line conditioner on your line when spooling? Do you think about taking your setup outside and tie the line on a stationary object and walk it off. Then you engage the reel and holding the rod and reel in your hand you stretch the line tight for five to ten seconds four or five times to get the curling out of the line? Then walk back and untie the line and reel it tight back on the baitcaster using the line conditioning products once again. If you stay on this Forum you can learn all of these things that the guys and gals do but we don't advertise in public. Welcome to the Forum. May I also suggest you add your physical location to your avatar and also go to the Introductions section and introduce your self. Tight Lines.

What is your line weight?

War Eagle.

Threw a spinnerbait for the first and caught one on second cast. So far, have caught them on spinnerbaits, crankbaits and a shaky head. Will be trying a lot more next week.

Happy for you and your family. Go tear 'em up.

Get a copy of the Virginia Department of Game and Inland Fisheries Freshwater Fishing in Virginia at Green Top or BPS and you will find many places you can fish from the bank listed in the free booklet. Don't limit yourself to south of the Historic James River. Go north and hit places like Eco Lake, the Henrico County ponds, the little pond just south of Hanover Courthouse and other places you can find on a map. As for Chesterfield area, you are correct with your problem of fishing private waters. Don't do it unless you have written permission from the land owner. One other suggestion: you can fish the ponds at the Salisbury Country Club on Mondays. Park in the back of Kings Lynn Road (or something like that. Google map the area and you can see what I am writing about) and walk the easement to the pond on your right. It is the one with the golf cart bridge over the small end. We used to fish it all the time but the guys grew up and got interested in girls and that ended that. Hopefully there are still some large ladies in that pond you can catch. The big pond at the end of Lucks Lane is new and the fish are not that big but you can give it a try. It is the pond near the hospital on Lucks Lane just pass the 288 interchange. The pond behind Martin's on Huguenot Road in the Stony Point Shopping Center (McDonalds is in this shopping center) has never been that good but there are some bass in it. You can give it a try. No one is concerned with the no fishing signs. Good luck and you can locate some good places to fish in the VG&IF booklet. Have fun; don't forget your needle nose pliers; leave a float plan at home as to where you are going and when you will be home; watch for snakes, especially copperheads; and have a good time.

As Gulf Captain writes, the fishing in Louisiana has never been better. The crawfish are flourishing in the marshes and bayous. Crabs are large and fat. LSU baseball is on a tear. LSU softball is doing great. LSU spring football is in high gear with great results. And then there is Toolame............... P.S. Seems the micro organisms LSU had put in the Gulf to eat the oil are still working and the oil has just about all but disappeared. Oil is always on the bottom of the Gulf, somewhere. Just like off the coat of California with all of the oil seeping out of the ocean floor. And everyone eats sushi without a pause of concern.

Still haven't figured that one out. The adults do not have to keep score. The kids keep score. As for the sliding rule, I left major league baseball years ago after their last strike when I realized that they don't love the game. The players love the money. The heck with the fans and the love of the game. Just show me the money. The new slide rule is supposed to protect the players and was instituted to help the owners have less players get injured so the owners do not have to continue to pay a player who is on the injured reserve. One would think the rule would make the game safer but of course, with grown men running around at full speed injuries will happen. Even in the outfield!

Ketchup and mustard plus plenty of mayo. You got to have the mayo, especially if you are from south Louisiana. I have found sauces to be way too salty, just like ketchup can be too salty. Don't want any sauce to overpower the flavor of the beef. Now, for po-boys, other than for shrimp, crawfish, alligator and oyster loafs, nothing on them. For the shrimp, alligator and crawfish po-boys and oyster loafs ketchup and mayo are great.

Right now, with temperatures in the high 20's, I would go to my double secret pond and fish an 80* day totally naked. Now, to your queries: In about 2 weeks the forecast is showing some potential 80 degree, sunshine-filled days around the full moon. If you are going fishing on those days, would the heat and Sunshine be a major consideration? - Nope. Water temperatures will probably be in the high 60's to low 70's which will be great. I know fish can hold tighter to cover when the sun is out, but I would expect a top water bite could still be on as the post spawn gets cranking. What do you guys think? - First thing in AM, right before dawn, be on the water and start throwing your Cavitrons, frogs, buzzbaits, poppers, and toads. keep fishing them until the sun comes up and the bite goes away. Now, back to that naked thing................

Yes. Used it last year. Caught a few. Fun watching them hit it and miss it.

Good question, but way too many factors to add into the formula for a "one shoe fits all" answer. May I suggest reading all you can about the bass' behavior? I do not want to appear flippant and would love to give you the "right" answer, but with water clarity, water temperature, wind, air temperature, biometric pressure, moon phases, depth, structure, cover, dogwood trees, cold fronts, warm fronts, blue bird skies, cloudy skies, early AM, late PM, boat traffic, fishing pressure, rain, drought, salt water encroachment, current, storms and time of the year, fast retrieves, slow retrieves and types of baits one just cannot put their finger on a simple answer. The bass are where you are fishing. Your test is to find what they want to eat, at what depth, what size, what color, what speed and under, over or adjacent to any underwater structure. Keep a log and after three months of fishing the same body of water under different conditions you will see a pattern for that one body of water. So "no," don't wait till noon. Hit the water as soon as possible and start your log and study of the bass' behavior in your body of water. Who knows? Maybe your personal best is the only bass out there that is interested in your presentation and technique. Keep us posted on what you find out.

Beautiful bass for Wisconsin. You did great! Keeps those photos coming.

Try Louisiana Crawfish Company. Safe, healthy, live when they arrive and you can have fun cooking them, especially when the jump out of the pot on the stove and start running around the kitchen floor! They will not be cheap but you won't die from eating them as you may from the ones in New York and definitely from the ones in New Jersey.

Why do I get this message when I hit the "like" button on a post? You are not allowed to give reputation to this user.

Welcome. Catt is the master of Toledo Bend. Geaux Tigers!

Is there a way to stop the double space between sentences when one is making a list? Senkos Crankbaits to having words under each other. Thanks