halochef

the Ohio Derby Horse M/L Odds 1 Whiskey Ticket 3/1 - 2 Far Right 9/2 - 3 Thirtysilverpieces 12/1 - 4 Divining Rod 7/2 - 5 War Story 6/1 - 6 Tencendur 8/1 - 7 Dekabrist 15/1 - 8 Mr. Z 6/1 - 9 Bodhisattva 12/1

the OHIO DERBY runs this sat at THISTLEDOWN. june 20th. some notable runners from the KD derby and Preakness and some scratches are FAR RIGHT, DIVINING ROD, WAR STORY, MR Z, BODHISATTUA. some nice 3yo colts. its a Non graded stakes $500.000 purse.(not chump change)

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas . Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas , you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park . Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield , IL . Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3." Here are the scorecard notes from the event: CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced from all of the beer. CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them. CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone. CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? Judge # 3 no report

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center. After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist! Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. "Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude. The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain. "I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see. "It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations" said Claude. He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting "Watch the watch --- Watch the watch --- Watch the watch" The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth. The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces. A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch. They were hypnotized. And then, suddenly, the chain broke! The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact" "****" said Claude. It took them three days to clean the Senior citizens' Center and Claude was never invited there again.

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% IN AN EXAM I would have given him 100%!!! Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * His last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * At the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * Liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * Marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * Exams Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * It will simply become wet Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.. Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men? A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense" The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?" "Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

check this out----> http://deadspin.com/this-is-what-it...dium=socialflow

thanks! might take you up on that offer. i was at the breeders cup when it was at churchill downs the year BARBARO went down in the preakness. STREETSENSE won the juv. 20yo. and won the derby the next year HFaC. BARNARDINI finished 2nd in the classic

just saw a tweet from the owner about AP. 'AP might run in the HASKELL'. that race is first of aug. long rest, Baffert likes this race. i think the t.

WOW great race for the BELMONT and triple crown winner! American Pharoah. next big races THE HASKELL at monmouth park early aug. along with the JIM DANDY at SAR. then later THE TRAVERS at SAR. also some smaller purses THE OHIO DERBY--THE WVA DERBY--THE PA DERBY--and a few others. will keep a eye open for these other races halo ps the day of the WVA derby at MOUNTAINEER RACE TRACK and CASINO is crazy! Place is packed. i was there when MIND THAT BIRD raced,

2.26.65 final time. one of the fastest http://www1.drf.com/drfPDFChartRacesIndexAction.do?TRK=BEL&CTY=USA&DATE=20150606&RN=11<--------chart

next up....retired to stud mayb.. stud fee will be high,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctss9h26IqY

THERE YA GO American Pharoah WINS THE belmont. nice race wire to wire cograts to baffert and his connections

#9 HONOR CODE wins the MET MILE. (yours truly had him) paid $16.20 to win TONALIST finished 2nd

if any one is interested 9th at BEL TONALIST is racing this race. FYI last years BELMONT winner 9/5 23 mins to post! don't b shut out! called the MET MILE. several other big names in this race

the belmont! if AP wins it will b great for horse racing. some say its a dying sport. but just ask the 90.000 fans at BEL park today. OBTW BEL caped the crowd at 90,000. its a tough race for these horses that have run 3 in 5 weeks. not many race claimers 3 in 5 weeks. but baffert says AP looks good and has trained well. no issues, but its the "big sandy". #6 and #8 win bets.. a superfecta box 5-6-7-8. AP will b bet heavy. a lot of $2 win bets for souveniers

a 62.50% chance of AP to win the Belmont. that is high as a the field size goes i think 3 have a chance to beat AP. a fellow named Rich Perloff has stated AP has no issues like BIG BROWN(meds) CA CHROME last year w/ the owner issues and i'LL HAVE ANOTHER trainer and injury issues. at those low odds i'll just watch....unless i view an overlay in the field.

Mubtaahij 10/1 Tale Of Verve 15/1 Madefromlucky 12/1 Frammento 30/1 American Pharoah 3/5 Frosted 5/1 Keen Ice 20/1 Materiality 6/1

IRON CITY BEER

thanks have had time to think some things through...

Mozarts band... handels band....derek and the dominos---Allman bros band spyro gyro--- yellowjackets... i like joe greens stuff.

did not go well i dont want to talk about it

here is a site that will make your head spin with figures! http://www.chef-de-race.com/dosage/classics/2015/2015_belmont_stakes_contenders.htm The Truth Or Else<--------OUT Carpe Diem<-----------------OUT may race in the HASKELL OR JIM DANDY aug 2015

Ocho Ocho Ocho ran in the KD and finished well beaten ran last night at Penn National Race course in the PENN MILE.Turf finished 4th. looks like NG races and NW2 or 3. never ran on the turf and not great Breeding turf also.