frogtog

We don't have no local range around here, but we still go POW POW POW.

Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there. 'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00...' 'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks Thank you.' As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.' 'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em'. Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.' 'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! .. I'll be there. Thanks again.' 'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,' 'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?' 'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.' ;D

> HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER > > You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one... > > Brian invited his mother over for dinner. > > During the course of the meal, > > Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, > > Jennifer, was. > > Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship > > between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. > > Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she > > started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met > > the eye. > > Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be > > thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates. > > ' > > About a week later , Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your > > mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver > > gravy ladle. > > You don't suppose she took it, do you?' > > Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be > > sure. > > So he sat down and wrote: > > ______________________________________________________________________ > > Dear Mom, > > I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm > > not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. > > But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here > > for dinner. > > < /SPAN> > > Love, Brian > > ______________________________________________________________________ > > Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that > > read: > > ______________________________________________________________________ > > Dear Son, > > I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that > > you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer. > > But the fact remains that if Jennifer > > is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. > > Love, Mom > > LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER!!! ;D

Yall have got to be joking Right :-/

What kind of property taxes do you guys have to pay? Ours are .96 per 100 and they just did a revaluation of everyone's property and raised it 32%. On top of that we have the third highest unemployment in the state ( 11% ) of course 10% of them wouldn't work anyway. :

Carl Childers could fool you. Who the heck is Carl Childers ? What size Leotards do you wear? ;D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sHgFeBmT1s You must have this stuff saved in you favorites. :

Carl Childers could fool you. Who the heck is Carl Childers ? What size Leotards do you wear? ;D

Er, Frogtog, I'm not a Moderator. This thread is for insulting roasting the Moderators. Incidentally, anyone who knows me can attest that my normal vocabulary will put a salty old sailor to shame. Could of fooled me. ;D

I'm still trying to figure out how much the Panthers got paid for that game they showed up at. :-/

I just can't see me ever getting lost enough to eat some of that crap he eats and most definitely wouldn't take the risks he takes. :

Now even I could enjoy that. ;D

I fished it for five days last year and was very impressed. We had the NBC classic up there. It was like 19 degrees and the water temp was 67. The guys that won the tournament had 10 fish that weighed around 52 pounds for two days. there was some kind of permit you had to purchase to fish and it was like $45 bucks. I have thought about going back this winter and giving it another try. I was there the first week of February last year. Everything I caught was to the left of the boat ramp in the colder water. We were fishing worms ( Green Pumpkin ) in 8' of water off the docks.

Well I guess we will have to play by our selves. ;D So bring it own!!!

Long Mike uses Enhanced Spell Check. Sure would like to fish with him one day, I would have him cursing like a Redneck. ;D

They already have that. ;D

The most aggravating thing I run into while fishing is those pesky little water skiers. ;D

My family Is from Burgaw(Near Wilmington)...It's not uncommon to see gators and snakes on the Northeast Cape Fear river to be sure....Many water snakes here on the local lakes in Western NC but none of the poisonious variety that I'm aware of except the copperheads and I have yet to see one actually In the water. Basspack didn't they find like a 10' Rattle snake around Burgaw a few years back? I remember seeing a picture of it. I'll do some looking and see if I can find it.

It comes to Frogtog next.

For that kind of money come to eastern NC for two weeks of all the deer you want to shoot. We can do some bear hunting I'll take you for a good night of coon hunting. We should be able to pop a few coyote and I'll throw in some great bass fishing. ;D

Well wouldn't you know it, just found out I had a problem I never noticed. ;D

I sing to myself all day. :

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier 1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why? 21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute, which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.. 2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why? 21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1 3. Why are his gloves wet? His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle. 4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time, and if not, why not? He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder. 5. How often are the guards changed? Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year. 6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to? For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10' an d 6' 2' tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30.' Other requirements of the Guard: They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way. After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin. The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt. There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror. The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery ... A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe E. Lewis {the boxer} and Medal of Honor winner Audie Murphy, {the most decorated soldier of WWII} of Hollywood fame. Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty. ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD, AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM. In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington , DC , our US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, 'No way, Sir!' Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930. God Bless and keep Them IN GOD WE TRUST

How I train my fish. ;)

Well I'm still blind : I can't find it for looking. I have a PC in my shop and was trying to do some upgrades on it. I also down loaded Trend Micro on a disc and tried to get that on there also with no luck. I'll be needing HELP before something gets broke in the shop. ;D

I smoke and I think they should outlaw tobacco period. Nothing good has ever come out of smoking or drinking. They use these to keep the population in check with, just think how many people would still be alive if it weren't for tobacco and alcohol. :