"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for money, I can tell you I don't have any. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you take me off your call list now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will make you eat your call list."

Look up comdian Tom Mabe

Just be careful @Harold Scoggins. In this day and age everybody takes everything people say seriously. 

 

WICHITA, Kan. — A man’s playful warning before using the toilet inside a Kansas Home Depot store led to a 911 call Monday afternoon, according to The Wichita Eagle.

According to a police report, someone in the bathroom said, “You all need to get out of here because I’m fixin’ to blow it up.”

A store employee alerted security after another man, who had apparently overheard the “men’s bathroom humor,” walked out of a stall and said, “Somebody told me there’s a bomb in the building, you need to leave the building,” according to the paper.

Officers responded to the store around 12:15 p.m. and tracked down the second man, later determined to be a regular customer, who told police “he had no intention of causing such alarm” and that the bomb comment was meant to be funny.

The man said he had assumed the person who said it “was in a serious need to defecate, and that he was attempting to provide a polite warning to the other patrons of the bathroom,” according to a police report obtained by the Wichita Eagle.

It’s not clear who made the initial joke, but Home Depot has declined to press any charges.

I'll tell my 5 year old it's Santa and give him the phone, I bet they don't stay on the line long.