1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer's history if you die.

    

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

    

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

    

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

    

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    

6.. Was learning cursive really necessary?

    

7.. Map Quest needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

    

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

    

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

    

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

    

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

    

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

    

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to the ten-page paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

    

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

    

15. I hate it when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?)but when I immediately call back it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

    

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

    

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

    

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?

    

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well..

    

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

Dude, you got too much time on your hands - those are great! Thanks

Nice!

1. Amen.

2. I love that. Crow gets better and better with each bite.

3. Napping is underrated.

4. Comic Sans seems to work here.

5. What ever way hides the blood stain.

6. They don't teach this at my son's school anymore. I'm very disappointed.

7. What's funny, is when one of the steps involves a u-turn.

8. And the contents of the will.

9. I can't remember even being awake.

10. Oh yes.

11. Usually between 9:00 and 9:30 AM.

12. What am I supposed to do with all these Betamax tapes?

13. Save as a copy.

14. Why are you reading the washing instructions? That's her job.

15. Or while you are calling back, you get call waiting beeped by them. What did they think I was doing?

16. We're old, and ugly. No one is looking. Ever.

17. I do this too. They are all labeled "wife."

18. Never underestimate the brilliance of a 4-year-old. Especially when it comes to ninjas.

19. And just call the crisper what it really is: the rotter.

20. Son: "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father: "The beer aisle."

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer's history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6.. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7.. Map Quest needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to the ten-page paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever.

15. I hate it when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?)but when I immediately call back it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well..

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

I totally feel yah, I feel the same way on all of those

J, not funny!  I HAVE a box of betas that I haven't been able to part with.  I think it's a sickness.

Thanks Gary, like I already didn't have enough to ponder.  ;D

Number 2 is my favorite. It takes concentration and commitment to stay the course even in the face of overwhelming evidence.  : That's my story and I"m sticking to it.

A thermos keeps hot drinks hot and cold drinks cold.

How do it know?

haha all great points!

my favorites were 15 an 16. I hate when people call an you just miss answering in time an then you call back literally 2 seconds later an they don't answer or you get the call busy sound. An I agree, I hate when you wear something nice an think your lookin real good an only see people you don't know, an then the next day you look like crap an you see 20+ people you know.

My contribution to the list - if solitare on the computer is truly random - why is it impossible to win two games in a row?

button up pants are a must. i dont need sharp metal interlocking teeth in such a delicate area

Midgets hate farts even more than normal sized folks.....

button up pants are a must. i dont need sharp metal interlocking teeth in such a delicate area

Years ago that happened to me with a pair of BDU's.  My girl friend about lost it laughing so hard.

I'll add one: "Never play leapfrog with a unicorn."