This has "union slacker" written all over it.

Shhhhhhhh. Don't tell everyone that. Sheesh.

Dear Raider,

 

Why can't the chicken cross the road without people questioning its motive?

 

Signed, 

 

A person that don't care that the chicken crossed the road

Dear Raider,

 

Why can't the chicken cross the road without people questioning its motive?

 

Signed, 

 

A person that don't care that the chicken crossed the road

Dear A person that don't care that the chicken crossed the road,

Because that's not how things work in this day and age.

Dear A person that don't care that the chicken crossed the road,

Because that's not how things work in this day and age.

 

Dear Raider,

 

Why can't curiously kill humans instead of cats?

 

Signed, 

 

ah screw it. 

Dear Raider,

 

Why can't curiously kill humans instead of cats?

 

Signed, 

 

ah screw it.

Dear Ah Screw It,

I have been asking that for years.

Dear Raider,

If I ate myself would I double in size or disappear?

Signed,

The Literal Cannibal 

Dear Raider,

If I ate myself would I double in size or disappear?

Signed,

The Literal Cannibal 

 

Secretary of state says, your size would not change, but you'd be inside out.

Dear Raider,

Why did we just get an ice storm in mid-March?

Signed,

Cabin fever may be fatal

Dear Raider,

Why did we just get an ice storm in mid-March?

Signed,

Cabin fever may be fatal

Dear Cabin fever may be fatal,

Cause you don't live in the South where it is warm.

Dear Raider,

My favorite Hybrid fishing hole is about to be swarmed by the masses for the next couple of months. What are some things I can do to out smart the crowd and get the best out of the honey hole?

Dear Raider,

If I ate myself would I double in size or disappear?

Signed,

The Literal Cannibal

Oh my goodness, that's the funniest thing I've seen in a while!

Dear Raider,

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why is it that doctors call what they do practice?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a "broker"?

Why is the third hand on the clock called a second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in", but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Do fish ever get thirsty?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? To keep the dead from rising.

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Cause practice makes perfect.

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Acidity. Apparently its better to clean with food than to consume it.

Why is the man who invests all your money called a "broker"? Self explanatory.

Why is the third hand on the clock called a second hand? Cause it was invented by Pierre Secondonte.

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Cause everyone is rushing to get home or to work.

Why do you have to "put your two cents in", but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Cause other peoples advice is worth less than your own. Me I charge a dollar for my thoughts. (Says the advice columnist)

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Yes.

Do fish ever get thirsty? Sometimes. When they do. They go to a sand bar.

Dear Raider,

My favorite Hybrid fishing hole is about to be swarmed by the masses for the next couple of months. What are some things I can do to out smart the crowd and get the best out of the honey hole?

If your on the bank. Rock back and forth and carry on a conversation with yourself while fishing. If anyone approaches you, yell gibberish at them.

If your in a boat. Rock a Raiders Jersey, eye patch, and bandanna. Raise a pirate flag on your boat, and throw stuff at any boat that comes near you. If nothing else the other Raiders fans in Bama, will become your friends.

Thank you for the tips, but I think I'm already friends with the only Raiders fan in Alabama.

Thank you for the tips, but I think I'm already friends with the only Raiders fan in Alabama.

I'm definitely the biggest.

There's more of us than just me. Gotta look around Northeast Alabama and down in Birmingham.

Dear Raider.

 

Which came first?  The chicken or the egg?

If i had to guess, I'd say, the rooster did.

If i had to guess, I'd say, the rooster did.

ROFLMFAO!!!!

Dear Raider, do you fish as well as the Raiders play football?

 

signed,

the tuck rule

Dear Raider, do you fish as well as the Raiders play football?

 

signed,

the tuck rule

I fish as well as the Raiders played football when John Madden was coach.

Dear Raider,

Why do Youtube ads never buffer, but the actual video always does?

Signed,

Buffering should have died in 2007