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Is This A Good Sponsorship Letter?

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Is this a good letter? I am still tweaking a little and gonna get my mom to help but is this a good start? I got the format from another high school angler I know. He setup the levels and stuff. The letter is pasted below:

 

 

(Date)
(Sponsor Name)
(Address)
(City), (State, Zip)
 
Dear (Name of the person),
 
My name is, and I am a Middle School Bass Angler. I fish on my schools team, which is X Middle School Bass Fishing Team. This is my first year fishing this team and this is the teams first year. I helped establish my team. I am from Greenville,SC I fish almost weekly on Lake Hartwell where my boat is in the water. I own a 1986 Glasstream 1500 Hydra Bass. This boat is mine and I fish alone and sometimes with a friend. I have been fishing since I was 18 months old. I come from a family of fishermen particuraly guides. I fish tournaments within my club and my schools upcoming tournaments. I will be attending the TBF SC Jr. Angler State Championship at Lake Murray. Here I will see about 50+ fans from all over the country. 
 
If you dont know, fishing is an expensive sport even as a weekend angler. That is why I come to you. I would like to request sponsorship from (Company Name). I will accept & would appreciate your genorosity for any amount of money or your products. There are several different oppurtunities:
- Any amount of donation to help me. Trust me anything helps. This will get you a 3"x3"
- Any of your products to help me bring the big ones in and win those tournaments!!
-$20 donation. This will help me with gas, tackle and will get you a 5"x5'' logo on my jersey or sticker on my boat.
-$50 donation. This will also help me with gas, tackle and this will get you a 10''x10'' logo on my jersey or sticker on my boat.
-$100 donation. This will buy me a full tank of gas, tackle or will get me entry into a tournament. this will get you a big logo as my leading sponsor (the biggest on my jersey).
-$250 donation. This will buy about 2 1/2 tanks of gas, tackle, tournament entry or new gear for fishing. This will also get you a leading sponsorship position.
 
Now you are probably wondering "How will this benefit me?". Thats simple! As I said before I see over 50 possibly even 100 fishermen at my tournaments. I often talk with anglers about how I brought in the fish what products I reccomend and even who my sponsors are. Depending on what level of sponsorship you will be on my jersey and even be metioned in my interviews after tournaments. You will also be mentioned on my Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and other social medias. I promote alot of products on my YouTube mostly but also on Twitter and Instagram. You will be mentioned in my videos on my GoPro. I will be able to be at any seminars or anything local to me to speak about your company. I am also an active member of one of the largest fishing forums. Your company will also be talked about at club meetings and conversations with anglers of all skill set!
 
I would like for all sponsors to be in contact with my by February 1st. I will be able to order my jersey any sponsors after that are not guarnteed a spot on my jersey but will be appreciated. 
 
Lastly, Thank you for reading my letter. I truly appreciate your time and thanks for looking over my letter!
 
Respectfully,

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Well without going into full on editing mode, the letter needs some serious work.  There are grammatical errors and flow issues throughout.  The other thing is you don't mention if you are even successful as an angler on the high school or is it middle school bass team.  Are you winning tournaments?  Saying a company's name on your FB or other SM outlets doesn't really amount to much.  How many page hits do you get and how may retweets do you get and how many shares do you get on your posts and how is that going to translate to sales for XYZ company?

 

I like your motivation and your panache but at the same time, go find a part time job and pay your own way or look for local sponsors like the local bait shop or local gas station.  If you become a winner sponsors will come......\

 

 

And i would remove your name and phone number from this post too.....

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Well without going into full on editing mode, the letter needs some serious work.  There are grammatical errors and flow issues throughout.  The other thing is you don't mention if you are even successful as an angler on the high school or is it middle school bass team.  Are you winning tournaments?  Saying a company's name on your FB or other SM outlets doesn't really amount to much.  How many page hits do you get and how may retweets do you get and how many shares do you get on your posts and how is that going to translate to sales for XYZ company?

 

I like your motivation and your panache but at the same time, go find a part time job and pay your own way or look for local sponsors like the local bait shop or local gas station.  If you become a winner sponsors will come......\

 

 

And i would remove your name and phone number from this post too.....

Thanks a lot! Really helps! I need to slow down a bit on the sponsorship thing. I got help from a buddy of mine on this one. My mom is gonna help me on another. I really appreciate the help. I was in such a hurry that I misspelled a lot. Thanks really helps a young angler who is chasing a dream but im getting ahead of myself. 

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Hey bud I too am a high school angler and am chasing a dream just like you.  I would go find a local sponsorship first if I were you they work the best.  Keep on dreaming bud

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I agree with the others said but I also think you need to just get rid of the "levels". Let them decide. I think it's nuts to offer a full year of sponsorship with a 5x5 jersey spot for $20...

Good luck buddy.

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Maybe a friend of the family or a local business owner that just likes you might help, but "real" sponsors

tend to "find you". All the guys I know that have serious backing have been approached by company

owners or representatives. Initially all this amounts to is some gear, no money.

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You are just starting out thus you will make mistakes. That's OK and don't be afraid of failure or rejection. Just follow your dream and do what you think is honorable and right. And it's OK to copy the practice of other successful anglers looking for sponsors. I agree with flyfisher, too many typos. Proofread and proofread. Ask your English teacher for help with the letter. If you want to send a letter, it must be perfect. Good luck and don't give up. The goals in your life are worth working hard for. When you become successful you will look back and laugh at your mistakes.

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I agree with the others said but I also think you need to just get rid of the "levels". Let them decide. I think it's nuts to offer a full year of sponsorship with a 5x5 jersey spot for $20...

Good luck buddy.

Thanks man! It sounded kinda different when my buddy was writing it up. I was certainly going to take that out. I think if they want to sponsor me they should have the freedom of however they want.  Thanks again!!

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You are just starting out thus you will make mistakes. That's OK and don't be afraid of failure or rejection. Just follow your dream and do what you think is honorable and right. And it's OK to copy the practice of other successful anglers looking for sponsors. I agree with flyfisher, too many typos. Proofread and proofread. Ask your English teacher for help with the letter. If you want to send a letter, it must be perfect. Good luck and don't give up. The goals in your life are worth working hard for. When you become successful you will look back and laugh at your mistakes.

Thanks! It really helps hearing your feedback. 

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Win tournaments and the companies will find you.

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Promotional value is what counts. While winning helps, you can win and not be a good marketer. Seeing 50 to 100 anglers at tourneys is not a lot, especially when FLW guys see millions of people in a single tourney series, and boat wraps those guys have are just giant traveling billboards. Also, your not gonna get money up front. That's just the fact of life. They're are a few levels of sponsorship, ones that involve discounts, others involve free product, and others involve money and free product. That's the name of the game. Also, almost anybody can promote product on social media for FREE. I do it myself when I publish a good review, post a pic of a new combo, ir post a pic of me w/a big fish while I'm wearing a Lew's hoodie. Best of luck my friend.

 

Jakob

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Start locally where you can talk to the owner.  Approach it like you would an athletic sponsorship for youth sports. Promote your fishing team/club, not yourself.  Make it a team issue. You're in middle school so hit up local businesses that could contribute to your club.  Restraurants could do have a fundraiser  to help as well.  You will get more from your local comunity then the "big" tackle guys.  You start winning and yes they will find you and approach you.  Good luck.

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You need to begin at the beginning, and cannot jump the chain of command.
In spite of impeccable journalism, personal sponsors are driven by the profit motive, and don't stray from the honeypot.

I believe Roadwarrior put it in a nutshell:  "Real" sponsors tend to "find you".

In a 'no-spin' zone, the road begins with tournament success.        The very best of luck :smiley:

 

Roger
 

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Success is measured differently by different people. Fish a lot, work a lot, be a good person and success will follow you (and sponsors will look for YOU). Best of fortune to you and your team. Hope you win a lot as a result of your hard work..

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Letter needs to be on one page.

 

Try to keep it simple and easy to read.

 

Ask for what you want in clear and concise words.

 

Make sure you can tell the reader how you can help the business' sales.

 

Target an age group that the reader is trying to attract with their products.

 

Good luck.

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Fish a major tourny first like the one in May. If you do well you can get a sponsor.

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Hey bro...Put the letter away...you can absolutely land a sponsorship. You don't need to fish a major tournament or win anything. First....Do not send a form letter out to a whole bunch of companies...it looks like a sales pitch and they will throw it away

Second....never lead with "what can you do for me" lead with, "This is what I can do for you"

Third..Figure out what you need. If you are looking for a product sponsorship meaning if you want discounts on products then you need to be very specific. Pick the company that has the product you use and focus on them with a tailor made proposal. You will need to show them how you will help them with their product sales and branding

Fourth.... read up on the sponsorship topic so you can put together a strategy...I've gone through a few books some of them were way to business like and tough to understand but some were pretty good..Theres The Sponsorship Seekers Toolkit there is a new edition out I haven't read it yet but the last edition was pretty helpful...The TASK Sponsorship Guide is good. This is a good start to give you some strategies. 

Best of Luck

Don't give up

 

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I think one of the main selling points for sponsors is what you can do for them to help bring exposure and revenue in. The first thing I noticed that jumped out when I first read that was basically what the company could do to help you. I would consider it similar to a job interview, they already know what they can do for you and are mostly interested in what you can bring to them. 

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Aside from a number dah sentences the letter it's to long. 

Put a resume together and send it, forget the letter. Also, check out BombBomb online. If you can communicate electronically do it.

Good luck

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Most importantly, pay attention to the details.  Otherwise you may find yourself giving advice to someone who asked for it over a year ago. :P

 

Just had to give you guys a little hard time, you gave some great advice.

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