41 Things In The Life Of An Italian Child    

 

 

 

 

01.  You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an  entire year after a funeral.

02.  You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was  pronounced 'sangwich.'

03.  Your family dog understood Italian.

04.  Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your  grandparents and extended family.

 

 

05.  You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square  feet of yard during a family cookout.

06.  You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.

07.  You thought killing the pig each year and having salami, capacollo ,  pancetta a nd prosciutto hanging out to dry from your shed ceiling was  absolutely normal. (Wow, that's really Italian!)

08.  You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday, and laughed at the commercial for Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti day.

09.  You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that  the price of everything was negotiable through haggling.

10.  You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.

11.  You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel.

12.  You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.  

 

13.  Your mom's main hobby was cleaning.

14.  You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores.

15.  You thought that everyone made their own tomato sauce.

16.  You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter.  

 

17.  You ate your salad after the main course.

18.  You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.

19.  You were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon or broom.

20.  You thought e very meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your  hand  

21.  You can understand Italian but you can't speak it.

22.  You have at least one relative who came over on the boat.

23.  All of your uncles fought in a World War.  

 

24.  You have at least six male relatives named Tony, Frank, Joe or  Louie.

25.  You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.

26.  You have relatives you don't speak to.

27.  You drank wine before you were a teenager.

28.  You relate on some level, admit it, to the Godfather and the Sopranos.   I maka a meata ball you can't refuse!  

Forrgetttabbboutit!  Badda bing!  

 

29.  You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of  it.

30.  Your grandparents' furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic.  Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic.

31.  You thought that talking loud was normal.  

 

32.  You thought sugared almonds and the Tarantella were common at all weddings.

33.  You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and had money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.

34.  Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter  what their age.

35.  There was a crucifix in every room of the house.

36.  Wakes would be held in someone's living room.

37.  A girl couldn't date a boy without getting approval from her father. (Oh, and he had to be Italian)

38.  You called pasta 'macaroni'.

 

39.  You dreaded taking out your lunch at school

40.  Going out for a cup of coffee usually meant going out for a cup of coffee over Zia's house.  

41  Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss and accident was attributed to the fact that you didn't eat something.

Some sounds like growing up Polish in Chicago. Love it youse guys!

I thought every TRUE Italian family had an overweight, hairy lady in it.  Like a mustache or hairy arms or something.  

This is why a lot of Italian Men grow mustaches, to look like their moms

Thanks!

This post is especially amusing for me. I didn't grow up Italian, but

married into the Mob. Now I find myself doing many of those very

same things! "Living Italian" has its advantages.

8-)

42.  Your non-Italian friends look at you funny when you pronounce "mozzarella" correctly.

43 or Ricotta

44 or manicotti

;D

19. You were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon or broom.

I'm not Italian, but I've experienced that one. My parents had a huge wooden salad bowl with a big wooden spoon and fork to go with it. My rear end and the spoon got to know each other quite well.

So one day I figured if I got rid of the spoon my troubles would be over So there I was sitting on the counter with my feet in the sink trying to get the rest of the spoon dislodged from the garbage disposal that was jammed up : In walk mom and dad - BUSTED!!!!

Even though, for some odd reason, I'm attracted to Italian ladies,  I will NEVER, NEVER date another.  I'm 0/2.  Married one for 5 years and dated/lived with one for 6 years. I have now gone Latin and everything seems to be going ok.  I don't know which of the two have worse tempers though.

I have been married to an Italian lady a Jewish Lady, and have lived with a Cajun Lady, 2 black ladies , several Hispanics , a woman born in Turkey and 2 Irish Ladies: THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME TEMPERS , the main difference is the Italian and Hispanic ladies all seem to have good left hooks!

 

LMAO Muddy, My wife is the only one who threatens to "cut it off" in my sleep if I mess up.  I do mess the Italian cooking though.

I have yet to date someone from the Orient.  I think the women are gorgeous.