Well, this is kind of a difficult one for me. I have a very good friend of mine, who is 22 years old, and is seriously considering getting married to a girl he hasn't even known for a year yet. I really do think that he is gonna be making a big mistake if he goes through with this. He hasn't had the best track record with his choices in women in the past, and the last one he was with for a while he hinted to me at proposing to her someday, and that one ended badly between them. I'm really on the fence about this one because I don't want this to affect our friendship, but at the same time I don't know if I can sit back and watch him do something this drastic that I truly believe is gonna hurt him down the road. I've discussed it with another one of our close friends and he feels the same way. Im just wondering what you guys would do, I really want to bring it up to him, but I don't want to seem like a d*** either. I've been friends with him for about 13 years now, and I don't want to seem like I'm trying to ruin anything he thinks is good for him. Any ideas on how to bring it up and what I should say, what would some of you guys do?

Thanks in advance,

Dave

The one thing I learned a long time ago, if he is a real friend he will appreciate you speaking up, and looking out for his best interest. That doesn't mean he has to do what you say. Talk to him about your fears, be honest, and let him make his own choice.

Honestly, at that age he is gonna take what you say with a grain of salt and run with his heart, but I can see where you want to try.  Tell him what's on your mind and then stand behind him.  That's what friends do.

Tell him of your concerns then stand back and see what happens.

Thanks guys, thats pretty much the answer I was looking for. I'll just tell him man to man as a friend what I think and stand by his decision either way.

Say nothing and mind your own business unless asked.

Say nothing and mind your own business unless asked.

if this is someone you don't really know, I can see that.  But a very good friend of 13 years?  Definitely say something.  You don't have to be a dick about it, but at least bring it up.  Because if you don't, you will most certainly regret it down the road.  You probably know him better than anyone, and if you truly think it's a mistake speak up.

Play her favorite song backwards...

Say nothing and mind your own business unless asked

x2  If I was your friend, and you gave me marriage advice without my asking, Id tell you to pound sand.

I'd talk to him. A good friend will listen to you. You probably won't change his mind. It's also not your job to change his mind. But if you think a friend is in trouble in anyway I think you have an obligation to tell them.

At the very least you can walk away with a clear conscience.

SirSnookalot & swilly78 if it were anyother person that I wasn't good friends with I would just sit back and let him do whatever. But I have been best friends with him for so long where I feel like I need to at least try and tell him what I think. I'm gonna go ahead and talk to him at least. You're right wagn, when it's all said and done, I can walk away with a clear conscience knowing I at least tried to give some advice.

make sure and throw in the advice that he needs a pre nup.

I say call the TV show Cheaters and see what happens. ;D j/k

On a serious note you have to do this in a very delicate way. Don't trash the girl any man that has feelings for a girl is going to defend her. Remember your his best friend but she has several BIG advantages that makes him REALLY LIKE HER!! So you need to give your two cents in a way that lets him know your behind him no matter what but you do think it's a mistake. While on the other hand your there for him and your not trying to make him pick between you two. Once you have said your peace let him know you will drop it and not keep bothering him about it. He has to know you respect him and his woman even though you don't agree they should get married. I think coming from that angle he might be more secure and willing to listen to you. Also I sure hope this isn't a situation where you have a thing for the girl and think she's right for you and not him. Seriously if that's the case date he hot sister or something but let them be!!

SirSnookalot & swilly78 if it were anyother person that I wasn't good friends with I would just sit back and let him do whatever. But I have been best friends with him for so long where I feel like I need to at least try and tell him what I think. I'm gonna go ahead and talk to him at least. You're right wagn, when it's all said and done, I can walk away with a clear conscience knowing I at least tried to give some advice.

Sounds to me like you already know what you're going to do and don't need advice from anyone on here. Your friend sounds exactly like one of mine. He's not the brightest when it comes to relationships and telling him doesn't do anything at all he will still do what he feels like doing. If your friend is anything like that, talking to him won't do anything and could possibly throw yall into a bind if he takes your "advice" the wrong way. Not worth it if you ask me. But then again I know my friend so well that I can bring up stuff like that and talk about things like that. If you feel like you need to ask a bunch of random people for advice, then chances are you should keep to yourself.

You gotta watch on what your telling him. He might think that your jealous of him and will stop talking to you and still propose to her.

I wouldn't make it a specific conversation that you planned out.  Just maybe sometime when its just you two sitting around drinking some "juice boxes" or something bring it up lightly like "so you really think she's the one?" and go from there.  Talking to him about it is an obligation if there is truely a reason behind it, but starting it off "Hey that chick your gonna marry sucks" may hurt your relationship more than anything, and will probably have no success.

Sensitive subject.  Good on you, caring for your friend that way.  Takes gonads to step up to a pal and give him that type of advice.

I know a few here have said dont say anything, but we don't know you or your friend.  You know him best, follow your gut and do what you feel is right.

Sounds like you've already made up your mind to tell him, so just find the time to talk and tell him what you feel.

Good luck.