Raider Nation Fisher

Dear Unemployed and Ugly, Its because your looking in the wrong places for work. Also its because you were/are a pipefitter. Should have been an Electrician.

Of course it is. I give advice whether it is solicited or not anyway. If I charge money for it I risk being sued because someone got their feelings hurt.

I'm from Alabama. Of course I know about trailers/mobile homes/tornado magnets. I've never lived in or owned one. However I know MANY people who are straight out the trailer. Be creative in what you choose. I have a buddy that has a two story mobile home. He cut a hole in the roof of one and the floor and roof of another and stacked them on top of each other. Then he added a stairwell for access. He also added a door to the roof of the top one. Fenced off the roof and made a deck out of it. Another buddy cut the end off two trailers and stuck them together. He claims he is the only person with a double long trailer.

That will be happening today.

After reading the appalling advice given by a well known columnist today, to some namby pamby, tofu farting, deer hugging, aunt/baker. I have decided to start my own column. It will effectively be called "Dear Raider". What better way to mock and ridicule, I mean give good heartfelt advice to the poor distrest people of the interweb and world. Please feel free to solicit free advice. Just remember its worth what you gave for it. Dear Raider is written and hosted by Alabama's own, Raidernayshay' Van Rotten.

Hey everyone's good at something. I happen to excel at ticking people off. Its a gift.

Electron flow calibrator and trouble shooter. I also work at places that make electrons flow down wires.

Congrats on the new job and good fortune. Sounds like you worked your tail off, and learned your craft well. (Not sure if "craft" is the right word or not) anyway congrats. Now go get to it.

Well flarf. Thanks for making me tear up. That's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. Im so proud of this child.

Update. Another day and between my brother in law and myself we have made 60 more calls to the scammers. Including 15 group calls. One of which was Cleatus and Clestus the Sand Mountain twin red necks. One was Goober McSmoocher and his attorney Ezikiel Feinstein who represents the Jewish Collection Agency of Queens New York. (My very good friend Miami played the part of Ezikiel.) Big Red and Little Red two brothers from Nawlins LA. Ness Monstair and Haggis McDuffy from Lochness Scotland. Hank and Frank both from Mississippi they are lovers apparently. (That one was awkward). Plus some others. My four favorites from the day were Chinese Imam, Iranian Revolutionary Guard seargent, Yukon Cornelius of the 41st Mountain Panzer Division based in Quatar, and Royal Visior(sp) Abu Al AfganiIraqi of Abu Dhabi. We have also made several collection calls and phished for information such as personal information from them. None of which have worked.

ROFLMAO!!!

No comprende amigo. Unfortunately no. I'm just a Scottish Ninja Warrior. Not as impressive as the Aztec variety.

Place the shot between the antlers and you won't have to track it at all! I kid! I kid!

A silencer on a .50 cal!?! While quite awesome. I don't see the purpose. They are dead before they hear it anyway.

I also do extremely accurate Scottish, Irish, Hindi, and Asian American as well. My Mexican, Russian, and British need work. I'm ok with a French accent, but haven't perfected it yet. Boston, Bronx, Queens, and New York City in general. As well as most the Yankee dialects give me problems though. I can't seem to quite get them down. My North Dakota dialect is coming along nicely though don't ya know.

I want it! Where do I sign up for it! I have no problems being a high tech redneck! Do you have any idea the havoc I could wreak with that?!? I mean ummmmmm. The fun I could have with that. Deer and pigs would bow before me out of the sheer awesomeness radiating from that amazing machine. Find me a price!

Yeah they will make you fat as hell if you don't work out while taking them. I should know. Its happened to me before. Right now I'm just chunky from having been injured. Muscle Tech, Optimum, BSN. They all make quality whey protein. Don't buy the cheap protein. You get what you pay for in this regard. Combine them with some creatine and a few other novelties and you will be good to go. Maybe some of the Romanian strain HGH I've been hearing such good things about....

You have positively influenced me to try an learn better grammar and speling. If that counts.

How many people I have irritated to the point of breaking.

First off. This isn't really Amazon Tech Support. My moms Kindle Fire has just broken. 2nd one in two months. Bought by my younger brother. However my dads that was purchased by me at the pawn shop works flawlessly. Yay me! Anyway. Somehow or another my mom found some random number for amazon tech support. She called it and received no response. So she hung the phone up. Five minutes later she gets a call from a Haji asking if she had called Amazon tech support. She hands the phone to my dad and he proceeds to trouble shoot said kindle with Mr. Haji. Well the Haj tells my dad he needs to access the computer in order to view the kindle over their WiFi. Of course this is done via a website "created" by Microsoft. (giant load of crap lie) Dad follows instructions and grants the Haj access by downloading the program from said site. After more "troubleshooting", the Haji offers to fix the "problems" he is seeing on my dads computer for 150USD. Dad declines and ends the call. After calling Geek Squad. He was told most likely it was just someone trying to scam cash. I think it was more sinister than that personally. However, my pops is being hard headed about it tonight. He has agreed to call the bank tomorrow though. What do y'all think? Was it a cash scam or did they most likely take what they wanted from his computer? In other news. My dear mum gave me the number she dialed and the one that had called her back. Both are 800 numbers so they are free to call. I have been having a field day with these people. I have been cussed out in three different Indian dialects as of now. Have placed over 20 phone calls to said phone numbers. Have attempted to sell them various services. Have claimed to be a Aztec ninja warrior that is coming for them and their families. Have twice impersonated a Pakastani Jihadist. That right there has gone over wonderfully. I have never in my life heard anyone get as irate as they did when I did that. The Vietnamese Ladel Swinger pales in comparison to these reactions. (I'm EXTREMELY good at Middle Eastern accents) Pretended to be Russian Mafia. (My accent needs work.) I figure I might as well irritate the hell out of them. What are they gonna do fly over from Punja India? Fools lucky I don't call my relatives in the Ukraine. I would hate for him to meet a sticky end like that.

That is coolest thing I have seen since my college days. Totally gnarly!!

I understand exactly what you are saying. He is most definitely a one trick pony.

I thought the same thing about Big Bear I believe his name is Antonio Bryant. He was a defensive tackle for Alabama. Biggest legs I've ever seen in my life. That man can/could two hand dunk a basketball from a flat footed vertical jump. Sometimes those big guys will surprise you.

Of course he wouldn't. The man couldn't run out of the restaurant. Those muscles weren't made for running.

Let them make a right hand turn every now and then. Would make it more entertaining.