Swamp Girl

There's no mythical Bait Monkey, Bob. These guys at bassresource.com are the Bait Monkeys! I'm guessing if I called Alex, Phish, or Tim, they'd answer the phone, "Tackle Warehouse, how can I help you?"

I have placed half a dozen orders because of you guys. In a recent thread, @PhishLI suggested some lures in a recent thread and I went and bought them all.

Your best day, Alex. I'm sorry you lost the biggest one, but d**n, man, you landed so many fine, fat fish. I was just thinking the other day about how few big fish you lose. Way less than me! Still, I'll be sad with you and overjoyed for you. Again, I love how you're out there alone. All the others have hung up their rods for the winter and are growing soft inside their warm homes, but you're out there...living...celebrating...learning...and even having your heart broken. Fat bass make me happy too. It means they're thriving.

@Team9nine That sounds like a blast! @The Bassman Some fish are stunning. Like yours.

@casts_by_fly Thanks! You do a good job of explaining how you fish. You're persuasive too. Maybe I should slow my roll. I found ^this^ especially useful.

I'm a mover too. I watch guys on videos who will spend five to fifteen minutes pounding a wee spot, but for me, it's one and done. If there's a tree, I'll cast twice, one on each side, but then I'm moving again.

@Logan S The C8 has more power and more computers.* I'm assuming the C8 has more computers. I know my 2019 CRV has dozens of chips and the C5 had ten computers and that's way back yesteryear's Vette. However, I get your point. There's a lot to a bass boat and they are also beautiful. Not Vette beautiful, but beautiful. Eye of the beholder, I guess. At least we can agree that canoes are the best fishing boats! ?

This comparison makes bass boats seem way overpriced. The new Vettes perform like supercars and look like supercars too. They also have electronics everywhere.

@AlabamaSpothunter and @cheezyridr, I bake pecan chocolate chip cookies if I have to cross private land to reach a bog or swamp. Thanks for being a good sport when I teased you, @cheezyridr!

When the pond owner answers the door, does @cheezyridr say, "I rangggg."

I love Mr. Fusion!

I thought so too, @Blue Raider Bob. However, since @cheezyridr looks just like Lurch and he approaches pond owners for permission to fish, I'm wondering how that goes.

I want a DNA Modifier 2500 with the compass and the thing in the stock that tells time. Aim it at a lake, pull the trigger, and now the smallmouth can grow to 20 pounds and the largemouth can grow to 40 pounds. In my dream world, the DNA Modifier 2500 also comes with a fighting chair, like you use with billfish.

Actually, you are first person I've ever met who was also on a burning plane.

@BigAngus752 I was on a burning plane too! The electrical fire started in the cockpit as we were just leaving the ground. I looked out my window and saw fire trucks rolling out of hangers, lights flashing. "Oh, someone's in trouble," I thought. Yeah, I'm an idiot. What was cool was seeing the lights of planes veer as the control tower cleared the airport for us. We came in dark because the pilot shut down the planet's electrical systems. All in all, but there was a little smoke and a lot of excitement. Sweet Jesus, NO! If your wish came true, you'd be having 100-fish days, catching DDs two at a time, and your thumb would be a stub!!!

Agreed, Woody. And if a mama bear kills me one day, she won't enjoy it. There are murderers so evil they enjoy it. The fewer the people, the safer I feel. Smart! I should do that too.

So, if you could have Jetson upgrades to your boat, what would they be? I'm talking about tomorrow's technology. Anything goes. Only your imagination constrains you. Here are my wishes: I'd love a flying boat. Not a pontoon plane, but a boat that performs like a boat, but flies. Then I could reach the lakes that sing to me like Sirens, but are deep in the woods with no logging roads to reach them. In lieu of a flying boat, I'd love a ten-pound canoe. In lieu of a ten-pound canoe, I wish there was a set of off-road-wheels that would let me roll my canoe over the most uneven terrain. How about you? A silent gas motor? A weather station on your boat? A voice-controlled trolling motor? Imagine away.

I agree. The woods and deep swamps scare many people, much like an Alabama winter chases the other fishers off your honey hole. I've never felt afraid away from other people. Rather, it calms me. And stats show the most dangerous place for a woman is her home, not the woods or water. Here's hoping it stays ^this^ way and I'm thinking it will, for people acclimate to their soft lives and, more and more, lose the desire and the will to bear a bit of discomfort to reach a quiet place bustin' with bass. Payback! You can't blame 'em. I sure can't.

Alex, what's wrong with the people of Alabama? They should all be bass fishing in January! In your videos, it's always just you. And thank goodness for that! Like you, I love the mouth of your big fish. If she fattens up for the spawn, I think she will go ten pounds. Again, your hashtag is #quantity+quality! P. S. - Your bass thumb made me laugh. They're not just chewing on shad. They're chewing on you too.

@LrgmouthShad Let us know how it goes. Smallmouth in the Ozarks sounds like Heaven.

@Kyle S You are smart to be scared of debt. Debt is servitude. If I see a guy with a $100,000 bass boat, I'm thinking, "You better outfish me...by a lot...with all those advantages."

@LrgmouthShad Heck, yeah, Missouri is pretty. I'd paddled along it a couple times on the Mississippi River. I've been to the Ozarks too. Gorgeous country. Glad I made you laugh!

@Mike L I admire your choice.

The judge: "You stand accused of being a froggin' failure. How do you plead?" Me: "Guilty, your honor." The judge: "Before I pass sentence, do you have anything to say on your behalf?" Me: I hold up a pic of the fish below and say, "I did catch this gal froggin'." The judge squints, studies the fish, and then says, "Then I delay sentencing and place you on conditional probation." Me: "Conditional?" The judge: "The condition being that you have to catch five more like her this summer or be sentenced to a lifetime of fishing in Missouri!" People in the courtroom faint at the severity of the possible sentence. My father screams, "NOOOOO!" My mother weeps.

Wh-wh-what? I had no idea you could spend so much on a boat. If I had $111,045, I'd buy a cabin on the Penobscot River and fish out of my canoe.