Lady complains to husband that she wished her breasts were bigger.

"Well," said the husband, "just take a few sheets of toilet paper and rub them between your breasts at least once a day and they will get bigger."

So the wife started doing what the husband suggested and after three months she said, "My breasts don't look bigger. I think you were totally wrong."

"No way," replied the husband. You have been rubbing those toilet paper sheets on your behind for the past 20 years and look how big it has gotten."

And then the fight began.....

 

Your entries are welcomed.

Happy New Years first smile of the year.

 

Saturday morning Scuppy McScupperson got up early, quietly dressed, made his lunch,
Grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
He hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so he pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
He went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. He cuddled up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
Scuppy's loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband Is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started  . . . .

A-Jay

A real knee slapper

A man is heading home from a fishing trip, and decides to stop for gas. He buys an instant lottery ticket and immediately wins a million dollars. He calls his wife, and tells her "Pack your bags, honey! I just won a million dollars!". She excitedly asks "What shall I pack for? Europe? The Far East"? He replies "Pack everything, baby. Cause you're out of here"!

Police officer pulls up in front of house and knocks on residence door with accident report in hand. Man opens door and says how may I help?

Officer says are you mr. Johnson?

Man replies YES.

Officer says with hesitation while reading report " it looks like your wife got run over by a train ".

Man replies " I know but she's good with the kids ".

Man goes into a pet shop and tells the clerk “I need a cat that’s good for mice”.  The clerk points to a gray tabby and says “There you are, sir. That cat is definitely good for mice”. 

 

The man buys the cat, leaves and returns with the cat five days later. The clerk asks why the man is returning the cat. Irate, the man shouts “You said this cat was good for mice! He just lays there! The mice run up and down him and he never lifts a paw”!  The clerk smiles and says “Well...isn’t that good for mice”? 

 

Thats when the fight started...

The new Federal Extension Argent was strolling down the street in Miles City, and encountered Willy, sitting on a bench with his legs stretched out, waiting for the saloon to open. The agent paused, eyed Willy and remarked "Nice boots. Are they Tony Lama's?" Willy briefly considered the question , and replied  "Nope. They're mine".

 

This is an old Montana joke, I heard it as a kid,  and one of my favorites. Take it for what it s worth.

A man got home from bass fishing for the 7th straight day in a row,  he crawled in bed with his wife who had felt neglected and was wanting some romantic time with her husband.  She scooted up against him and began rubbing her legs against his. She whispered to him... you haven’t quit have you A-Jay? He said are you kidding I’m gonna fish the next 7 days and maybe the 7 after that! And then the fight began.