I am no longer going to open threads which I feel have had their title constructed to garner more views, like this one. How about making a concise title that foreshadows the post to follow? I mean, however sad a state it may be in, I have a life. I don't want to read every thread on here. I skim; I look for threads whose titles suggest humor/interest/relevence. Basically the ones that dont suck. When I see something annoyingly vague titled and in all caps with asinine symbols all over them like they were constructed by a chimp with diarrhea, I want to scream.

    Up until this point, my curiosity would often get the best of me because I would use the theory that it must be really funny/important/interesting/relevant, so the OP made it even easier to find! Finally after months of tireless research, I have determined that 94.723% of the time these threads are in big letters and gaudily bedecked with symbols only to mask their suckiness. For all humorous/interesting/important/ and relevant threads, please follow the following guidelines to garner the attention of those of us who are not interested in interpreting your hieroglyphic thread titles:

Capitalize in Heading and Title:

   * First and last word

   * Nouns, pronouns, verbs, adverbs, adjectives

   * Subordinating conjunctions (for example: before, after, when...)

   * Hyphenated compound words

   * First word following a colon

Do Not Capitalize:

   * Articles (a, an, the)

   * Coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or, nor, so)

   * The word 'to' when it precedes a verb

   * Prepositions with fewer than five letters.

   

    There is a second thread title option that I would now like to discuss. For people, who like myself, are concerned with only the content of the thread, try this: leave everything in lowercase letters omitting all symbols including arguably proper ones such as apostrophes and hyphens. Furthermore, no real punctuation is necessary excepting in the rarest and most interesting of occasions... the exclamation point. Should my next study reveal that the exclamation point is being overused it shall be summarily added to my do not open list.

    At this juncture I would like your attention to be directed above. In the previous paragraph you will likely notice a very interesting jewell of the literary world, denoted by three consecutive periods. This is called an ellipsis. Historically used to indicate missing text, it is more informally used to denote a pause in the speech of the writer. While I find this a great tool to relay comedic timing, or for generally dramatic effect, it has sadly fallen to the realm of the incompetent. The ellipsis is a precious commodity of our great language, please refrain from misusing this great literary tool and also attempt to limit its frequency within a post. Too many of these pauses will make you seem a dolt to your learned audience.

Thank you for your time,

Fourbizz

Director of Pet Peeve Research

Crotchety University

* First word following a colon = poo ;D

When I see something annoyingly vague titled and in all caps with asinine symbols all over them like they were constructed by a chimp with diarrhea, I want to scream.

*****I AGREE!!!!!!*****

long mike jr.  

long mike jr.

x 2  ;D ;D ;D

Fourbizz... you... can ...

I'm not done with my pause...

BITE ME

As far as content goes, I generally look at author more than title. The only reason I opened this absurdly titled thread was to see who you were irritating today. ;D

I was just hoping you would post another pic of a 5lber... oh wait a "10lber"

Attaboy Fourbizz! You said it much more eloquently than I ever could have. I have added the word "suckiness" to my dictionary. ;D

I cant open his thread to tell him but ghoti is a shmarty pants!

I cant open his thread to tell him but ghoti is a shmarty pants!

Man, that was great!

I thought this was another "Guess the Weight" of the bass in my avatar.

My number is a dead solid 6 or maybe +/- 6...

;D ;D ;D ;D

When I see something annoyingly vague titled and in all caps with asinine symbols all over them like they were constructed by a chimp with diarrhea, I want to scream.

*****I AGREE!!!!!!*****

x2 on that one!

I think it is past someone's bedtime  :-/

When I see something annoyingly vague titled and in all caps with asinine symbols all over them like they were constructed by a chimp with diarrhea, I want to scream.

that was one of the funniest things i read all day  ;D

fourbizz, couldn't agree more.

fourbizz, couldn't agree more.

Add me to that camp.

I am still laughing. I read it twice and laughed even harder the second time. Even though this has nothing to do with fishing, I will save this one to my favorites.

This is classic Bizz right here ladies and gents, pure gold. ;D

As a member of the faculty at Crochety U., I concur.

As dean of the Groinal Institute of Technology for Ameliorative Literacy, I acquiesce wholeheartedly with Mr. Fourbizz.

Im glad most of you guys found that funny.

My girlfriend told me I am only funny when I rant or get hurt.

Kind of a backhanded compliment really ;D.

Im glad most of you guys found that funny.

My girlfriend told me I am only funny when I rant or get hurt.

Kind of a backhanded compliment really ;D.

We'll need video of you taking a Hudd to the pills for a final determination.

Probably wont be long, she's getting pretty proficient with the big bait rod ;D

Thanks Jay! I always get a kick out of you.

Ronnie

Classic post pal.  

How did somebody so young get so cranky?

Falcon