This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania . This guy's response is hilarious, but read The State's letter before you get to the response letter.

State of Pennsylvania 's letter to Mr. DeVries:

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2007.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action..

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price

District Representative and Water Management Division.

Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/06 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania .

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.'

I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

That's great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder if they took the beavers to court ?

that is hilarious.

That's a dam good dam response. ;D

Absolutely hilarious.

That is hilarious. I wonder how stupid the DNR felt when they got that letter?

That's great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder if they took the beavers to court ?

Dumb as this goverment system is i belive they would do it with very much determination if it involved getting money/fining

Save the pond.

Eat a beaver....

Save the pond.

Eat a beaver....

dude...

In the interests of proper oral hygeinics, make sure the beaver is clean before you dive into it.

In the interests of proper oral hygeinics, make sure the beaver is clean before you dive into it.

In the interests of proper oral hygeinics, make sure the beaver is clean before you dive into it.

this would be the beaver from the 70,s right ..yup i dove into many a beaver some of them was deep as a really deeeep pond too

I remember reading about this before. I wish I could have seen the Environmental Quality rep's face when he read the reply!   ;D

In the interests of proper oral hygeinics, make sure the beaver is clean before you dive into it.

this would be the beaver from the 70,s right ..yup i dove into many a beaver some of them was deep as a really deeeep pond too

Guys. . . family-friendly site. . . remember.

Please? :-[

Muddy,

That's a great story.  I think I'll share it with some co-workers for a "Friday Funny" tomorrow. ;D

Muddy, I think the guy should go to the permit office and release a beaver with a note tied to it requesting a permit.

You just got to love them beavers. ;D ;D ;D ;D

Government beaver at work below