Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't do puch-ups, he pushes the Earth down.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, ironically, Chuck Norris Never Cries.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity- twice.

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Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

After a night of hard partying, Chuck Norris doesnt throw up....He throws down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world an punch himself in the back of the head.

chuck norris doesnt have a watch.....he decides what time it is!!!

Chuck Norris Doesn't Teabag the Ladies...He Potato Sacks Them.

"Chuck Norris is the only man known to defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis."

"Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't foolish enough to attack him."

"There is no such thing as Global Warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up."

Chuck Norris lit ants on fire with a spy glass

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep...he waits.

When the Boogieman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

yeah.

On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris knows the wrong way to eat a reeses

Chuck Norris is an organ doner. Just never his own

Chuck Norris said hello to Tony Montana's little friend

oh yea...and what was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?

- His shoe

There isnt a night light in chuck norris room because hes scared of the dark but because the dark is scared of him.

Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is no chin.  Only another fist.

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris makes webbles fall down

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about

Allen

Chuck norris can touch mc hammer

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

When Chuck Norris shaves, he must hold a gun to his head to keep from cutting his own throat!

When Chuck Norris shaves, he must hold a gun to his head to keep from cutting his own throat!

That's the best one I have seen in a while.   ;D

Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.   

   

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Chuck Norris looked at medusa and she turned to stone

Chuck norris beat the sun in a starring contest

Most kids wear superman underoos. Superman wears a chuck norris underoos

                  -gk

Chuck Norris uses Tabasco sauce instead of Visene.

Most people can blow bubbles with gum,

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.