frogtog

I'm not going soft, but sometimes I like these heartwarming stories, and this one truly is amazing. In 1986, Dan Harrison was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University . On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Dan never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Dan , lifted its front foot off the ground, and then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encoun ter in 1986, Dan could n't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Dan summoned up his courage, looked to see if any guards were around and then climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Dan's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn't the same elephant. ;D

I'm old enough, where's my medication. My wife just bought me a pair on those shoes with the rollers in the heels. just took out four ladies and myself at the mall. I knew I should have practiced a little before I tried them out.

They should have a Gun class when you start to school and this would probably stop some of the senseless killings. 8-)

Yep I wear them and so did this Midget. There was a midget in Texas whose ached almost all the time. So he finally went to his doctor and told him what the problem was. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left and told the midget to turn his head and cough--the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" mumbled the doc, and putting his finger under the right , he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip,snip, snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, so he stared at the ceiling, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to get dressed and see if they still ached. Th e midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his groin area was no longer in any pain. The midget said, "Perfect, Doc, and I didn't even feel it ..... What did you do?" The Doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots"! #

Bought time some of you whipper snapers stepped up to the plate. I'm getting tired of trying to keep this country straight. How about yall start doubling up on you Social Security so I can draw some. :

Story coming soon, check back tomorrow night.

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse." After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone, "Oh, good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr.Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday." The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?" The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me anything.

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy The 87 year old said 'Well, I eat Jewish rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies.' So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, 'Do you have any Jewish rye bread?' She said, 'Yes, there's a whole shelf of it . Would you like some?' He said, 'I want 5 loaves. She said, 'My goodness, 5 loaves....by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard' He replied, 'I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this but me.'

> During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked > the Director how do you determine whether or not a > patient should be institutionalized. > > "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then > we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the > patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." > > "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person > would use the bucket because it's bigger than the > spoon or the teacup." > > "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull > the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" > > > > SO, ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE > BED NEXT TO MINE? >

FACTS TO PONDER : (A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000. ( Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000. (Calculation) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171 Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Now think about this: Guns: (A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million..) ( The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500. (Calculation) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188 Statistics courtesy of FBI >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do." >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention

The Spoon For all of you who deal with restaurants and understand the need for the Service to be faster, this short story is a timeless lesson on how Consultants can make a difference to an organization. Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant and noticed that The waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It Seemed a little strange. When another waiter brought our water, I noticed he also had a spoon in His shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their Pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well", he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting To revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they Concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It Represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per Hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of Trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift." As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it With his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time! I go to the kitchen, Instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of The waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string Hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?" "Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also Found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to The tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and Eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the Restroom by 76.39 percent. I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?" Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the Spoon."

I believe I would have him tied to the outside of the boat. ;D

Stren original 14 or 17. For thirty five years I've try-ed about every line out there and I always go back to stren. 8-)

Man I can eat a baked potato and I'll be running around in the yard like a dog, trying to find some where to go.

Guilty :-[ Smoked and chewed it. Wasn't strange to find my pocket full of leaves back in high school. Depending on how you harvest the flue cured, burley can be a lot more labor intensive than flue cured. The labor force in eastern NC is down to nothing, all we have is the migraines and they are learning the system so they won't work either.

Burley I'm assuming you have rolled a peace of it and smoked it haven't you. That dam stuff will kill you. I have chewed the flu cured when we were taking it out of the barn. We have had a couple of guys that tried to grow Burly around here but it never paned out.

I've got about 32 tournaments scheduled for this year. Hope to win a 1/3 of them.

I've got the hat covered. ;D

It is mostly used for cigars, They ship most of it out of the country. It will grow in the colder climates where flu cured won't. That's why you don't see much of it around here. Oh yea we have a Jack Russel name Burley. ;D He runs around bouncing off the walls.

Red sounds OK!!!

Yep don't leave home without it. Have you ever noticed that every tournament I win I'm wearing a red short sleave shirt also. When you want to go?

Some one please explain :-[

Yep thats me ( Frogtog )

Just got in from Gaston, had a pretty good day. Caught 13 keepers and 2 junk backs. Every thing came on a Bandit, cant remember what color it was so I'll post a pic. Water was 48 degrees and moved up to 53 in the afternoon. Well you can't see the color in the pic. It's a new color that Bandit just put out. I will post later.

I will be on Gaston Saturday practising for all the tournaments in March. I will give you some feed back on Monday.