33 minutes ago, NYWayfarer said:

Why is it still called “skinny dipping” when fat people swim naked?

Us bigger boned people call it chunky dunking. ?

Who was the first person who looked at a cow and decided to squeeze the dangly things and drink what came out? ?

Why does the sun darken our skin but lighten our hair?

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs! ?

Why do they call it a "Drive Through" when you have to stop?

Smart, the person that goes through the drive trough and says they want it "to go".

A true story from the past.

Back in the late 60's I worked for a prefab housing plant in purchasing for a while after graduating high school.

The truss department said they were out of 14ft 2/4s so I jokingly told a co-worker that graduated with me, to go see if he could borrow Culpepper's (a local lumber dealer) board stretcher.  About 15 minutes later get a call from a friend at Culpepper's saying they told him theirs was broke and sent on do the mill (about 20 miles away) to see if he could get theirs. I'm laughing my butt off.  Well, about 3 hours later, after being sent all of the county, he came back all kinds of p***ed off because of the joke that was played on him.

Now the rest of the story.  The next day, a truck load of lumber came in and I handed him my measuring tape and told him to make sure the 14' 2x4's were on it and have them sent to the truss line.  He goes out the door, and comes back in a couple of minutes saying "you though you got me again didn't you, handing me a 12' tape to measure 14' 2x4's". 

And to think, this was a high school graduate. 

 

Another one that makes you wonder, your bill is $6.45, you hand the kid behind the register a 10 and two ones, so they can give you back a five and not more ones.  They had you back the ones and saying it was only $6.45.

These are the only braid and monofilament I have seen this month and if my current path continues definitely the only I will see in the next 5 years and mostly only what I will see the rest of my working life.

 

My stupid thought of the day is that maybe I’m making the wrong decision going into a surgical residency (and no the lack of fishing time isn’t the only or even close to the most important reason).

10 hours ago, Dirtyeggroll said:

These are the only braid and monofilament I have seen this month and if my current path continues definitely the only I will see in the next 5 years and mostly only what I will see the rest of my working life.

 

My stupid thought of the day is that maybe I’m making the wrong decision going into a surgical residency (and no the lack of fishing time isn’t the only or even close to the most important reason).

At least you can keep up on your fishing knots! ? good luck with your ventures wherever it takes you. 

Do coffins have a lifetime guarantee? ?

14 hours ago, Way2slow said:

Smart, the person that goes through the drive trough and says they want it "to go".

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/woman-arrested-after-pouring-alcohol-into-taco-bell-drivethru-employees-mouth-213139605.html

If Oranges are called Oranges because they are orange colored, why don't we call Limes "Greens" and Lemons "Yellows"?

8 minutes ago, slonezp said:

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/woman-arrested-after-pouring-alcohol-into-taco-bell-drivethru-employees-mouth-213139605.html

That's quite the mugshot. I don't think the employee minded her pouring alcohol in his mouth.

Why is it a “fire truck” if it carries water?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup? 

Why is it called “taking a dump” shouldn’t it be called “leaving a dump”?

Why do companies offer you a “free gift?” Since when we’re gifts not free? ? 

Why doesn’t baking soda freeze? ?

Why are softballs hard?

Some people are a lot like slinkies, they serve no purpose but still make you smile when you push them down a flight of stairs.

On 7/25/2019 at 7:44 PM, Way2slow said:

A true story from the past.

Back in the late 60's I worked for a prefab housing plant in purchasing for a while after graduating high school.

The truss department said they were out of 14ft 2/4s so I jokingly told a co-worker that graduated with me, to go see if he could borrow Culpepper's (a local lumber dealer) board stretcher.  About 15 minutes later get a call from a friend at Culpepper's saying they told him theirs was broke and sent on do the mill (about 20 miles away) to see if he could get theirs. I'm laughing my butt off.  Well, about 3 hours later, after being sent all of the county, he came back all kinds of p***ed off because of the joke that was played on him.

Now the rest of the story.  The next day, a truck load of lumber came in and I handed him my measuring tape and told him to make sure the 14' 2x4's were on it and have them sent to the truss line.  He goes out the door, and comes back in a couple of minutes saying "you though you got me again didn't you, handing me a 12' tape to measure 14' 2x4's". 

And to think, this was a high school graduate. 

 

Another one that makes you wonder, your bill is $6.45, you hand the kid behind the register a 10 and two ones, so they can give you back a five and not more ones.  They had you back the ones and saying it was only $6.45.

I got a laugh out of this.

I poured concrete for 14 years and one year the boss hired his nephew.

Well we ran out of concrete, so we have to wait for the last truck.

The boss tells his nephew to go get the "concrete stretcher" out of the work truck.

Told him it was a big net looking thing with giant hooks on both sides and was probably buried at the bottom

 

The kid emptied the whole truck and came back saying he couldn't find it

 

The boss laughed and told him he had to put everything back in the truck- neatly

"My little brother is like a son to me" 

A young woman said this in an interview on this morning's news.

Are children who act in a rated ‘R’ movie allowed to see them? ?

Why is there a light in the refrigerator but not the freezer? I hate having to find my ice cream in the dark.

On 7/20/2019 at 5:00 PM, NHBull said:

If a guy walks in to get a room for the night and gives the owner 100.00 and asked to look at the room before he decides to take it.  Then the inn keeper takes the 100.00 and walks across the street to the bar and pays his 100.00 tab....The the bartender pays his hooked the 100.00 that he owns her.....then she walks across the street to pay the inn keeper for what she owes for the previous night......then the original guy returns and decides not to take the room and gets his money back.  How did all the debt get canceled and no body lost $$$$' 

 

No need to talk to the others at this point.

Simple, he just pays it forward.   

___________________________________________________________________________

 

Why do people keep say "when pigs fly"? 

Pigs have been flying since 1919 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Police_aviation

 

But farm pigs wont fly without oxygen tanks.   They wouldn't survive the air pressure.

http://www.fao.org/3/x6909e/x6909e08.htm

 

 

 

 

Why can’t you get a tan on your palms? ?