Last night ,my wife asked me if i'd seen the dog bowl. I said i didn't know he could...

Ever smell mothballs?

How'd you get his legs apart...

This is actually true and happened recently. 

Was walking my Border collie on a multipurpose trail and came apon this lady on horseback. 

She looked concerned and ask " how is your dog with horses? "

I replied  " mam, I have no idea as he's never ridden one. "

She found no humor. 

1 hour ago, Bird said:

This is actually true and happened recently. 

Was walking my Border collie on a multipurpose trail and came apon this lady on horseback. 

She looked concerned and ask " how is your dog with horses? "

I replied  " mam, I have no idea as he's never ridden one. "

She found no humor. 

Hahahaha that's such a perfect response ?

A weasel walks int a bar. The bartender says, “Wow!  I’ve never served a weasel before.  What can I get you?”

 

”Pop,” goes the weasel. 

What’s the longest word in the dictionary?

 

Smiles. There’s a mile between the two S’s. 
 

How can you starve in the desert with all the sandwiches there?

 

And these are true Dad jokes my dad told me over 50 years ago lol. 

What did the fish say when it ran into the cement wall? Dam!!!

One for Yule...

 

If a reindeer lost it's tail, where would it get a new one?

 

At a re-tail store.