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Spanky SC

If we could only fish one more day with Dad- Please read if you are divorced or separated Parent

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I think like some of you, I look back and see that I wish I had more days on the water with my Dad. My last day fishing with him was a throw back to days I really don't remember. At age 5, my Mom said Dad went fishing and the truth be known, he never returned to our home. Through the years of their bitter divorce my dad always stayed positive and never really said anything bad about people o even My Mother. As our lives continued, he stayed positive and his children came back to him over the years even though Mom bad-mouthed him every chance she got. Every other weekend, it was fishing with Dad and Boy did we enjoy it.

My Dad always joked that he would buy a house for his kids, on a lake where we could fish for as long as we lived. It seemed like a joke because we all had very little money.

Last month my Dad lost his battle with Cancer but and I was able to visit with him quite a bit prior to his passing.

I met all his fishing Buddies who would take him down the lake in his wheelchair, get him set up for the day, and assist him in any way they could. I live hundreds of miles away and just could not visit as much as I would have liked. When I met his fishing buddies (after his passing) they said most of the time my Dad would talk about the day his dream came true last year and how proud he was of his Youngest Son.

My Dad could not make his dream of the house on the lake for his kids come true, as he struggled to make ends meet all his life. He always told us respect your Mother and Elders, work hard, stay positive, and live within your means. Well luckily I listened to him and I was able to puchase not only a piece of land on the water for my Sister, but a second home for the family to enjoy.

Last Fall my sister and I called Dad and told him we were taking him to "His" lake. Even though he had to be on oxygen 24 hours a day, we packed him up, drove from Massachusetts to South Carolina, and brought him to "His" lake. When we got to the Lake I informed Dad that through his guidance and support his dream had come true.

This was the boat he wanted for his kids, the house on the lake for his kids and to know his kids would be okay. For three days My Sister, My Dad, and I fished from the Bass Boat that I had purchased from sun up till Dad was too tired. This was a big deal because we could only afford to fish from shore when we were young. There was no money for a boat or a canoe, but there was plenty of patience with us as kids.

In those three days I watched my Dad do what he loved- Fish and spend time with his Kids. We did catch over Fifty fish and most of the time was spent taking care of Dad- untaggling the oxygen tube from his fishing line, taking the fish off His hook, trying to get him to eat or drink something. I realized that things come in full circle and as he did when I was 5 years old, I was taking care of him at age 72. Every cast it seemed he would tell me what I was doing wrong and then I would pull in another fish, he put on a big smile and say "See what I taught you Son". When I caught and released a 5 # Bass it was time for pictures of Dad holding the fish I caught. I told him we would tell everyone he caught it so he could brag a bit.

Dad was creamated and his last wish was to- as he said "Be Caught and Released" as he always taught us to catch our fish, take a pictue and release them. His wish was to have his ashes sprinkled in the lake so that ever day his kids fished, he would be there to watch. We just recently granted him his wish and when I hook that 5#er again it will be a 10#er and I know it will remind me of Dad.

For all you parents out there, it's not the amount of time you spend with your children, it's the patience and care that you teach them that makes a difference. Don't let a marriage or relationship ruin your opportunity to spend time with your kids. It takes very little money, and the memories will last forever. Two hours on a weekend of positive, patient , quiet time fishing, with your children will always be remembered even if no fish are caught. How many hours did I fish with no worm on my hook  every other weekend with Dad but I still was having fun.

I am glad to say that I now have a piece of my Dad with me everyday. I have a cremation necklace around my neck with his ashes in it. I can thank him ever day for every worm he put on my hook, every bobber he took out of the tree, every Zebco 202 he pulled tangled line out of, as well as all the great attibutes he passed on to me.  :'( :'(

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first off let me say sorry for the loss that your family has encountered. cancer truely is a horrible thing.

this is a great post spanky. my dad wasnt around much and only did stuff with us when it was conveinient for him. hes still like that to this day. only visits my son, his only grandchild as of right now when he is sober or needs me to do something for him. i have had a deep resentmen for him for a long time. i have nor never will put my son through the things he has put me and my sister through. i was fortanate enough to have an uncle who was deeply obsessed with fishing and taught me pretty much everything about it and i lost contact with him after thing didnt work out with my aunt and him. i have made a personal vow to myself to be evrything my father wasnt for my son and be their for him even if something ever happens between me and my wife.

Spanky i congragulate your father for being a wonderfull person, sounds like a stand up guy and again great post.

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Great post!  You've got the memories that we all dream of having.  It sounds like your dad was a great man and he passed his genes on down the line.  

I cherish the times my dad and I are out fishing together.  It's the one time when we can just talk about anything and don't have to worry about everything going on in the world.  

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Sorry for your loss Spanky but happy for all the great love and  memories of your father you shared with us.

Kelley

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Sorry for your loss Spanky, Thank you for sharing, My father never spent any time with me, when I was growing up. I spend as much time with my kids as I can to give them memories similar to yours. You are in my prayers.

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wow man thats deep. im sorry for your passing i know how you feel i was always the kid without the father when i grew up and always relied on my grandma and she just passed away 2 months ago from cancer as well. we will always have our memories and all i can say is me have such a crappy dad turned me into a great dad cause i NEVER want me kids to struggle like i did. thanks for the story me i enjoyed every piece of it.

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Man that is one the best post I have ever read on any site. I can really relate. I have three kids. Their mother and I separated in August of last year. It has been hard times but we overshadow those emotions on the water, at the movies, or just getting some ice cream. I made a vow to myself not to be the average divorced father. My kids are 1st!

I'm sorry for your dad. Cancer has taken some great people and your dad sounds like no exception. As I read your thread, your dad sounded just like the man I want to be. Making memories is what fishing is all about to me.

God Bless You, Chris

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Sorry for your loss.

What a great and insprirational story. Thanks for sharing!!!!

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Sorry for your loss, I'm going to call my Dad right now and see if I can get together with him.

Your post helped me to understand that I have time, God forbid any "unseen" accidents, and we need to make the best of the time we have.

I have a bunch of nieces and nephews that have no fathers near, so I try to get them out as much as I can.

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Sorry for your loss Spanky and that was one of the best post I have ever read also. I'm in kinda the same boat with my sons mom bad mouthing me but I get both my kids every weekend and have since they were very very small. I have always wanted to be a part of there lives and enjoy each and every minute we spend together. My dad taught me to fish and I picked the hobby up a couple years ago again from my brothers. I share it with my son on the warmer months and we both enjoy visits to Cabelas and Bass Pro Shops. He now has his own equipment and that bond of those weekends I agree will last a lifetime. I keep things positive as your father did and just enjoy the time with my kids as he did with you and your siblings.

Thanks for the very positive message and again sorry for your loss

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Great post,goes to show life is too short to be fighting all the time.

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Great post Spanky, and please accept my condolences on the loss of your dad.  Like many of us on this site, my Dad took me fishing when I was a boy as well.  My fondest memories are of fishing and hunting trips with him.  I think for Father's day, we should all post picutures of our Dads, with fish if we have them, without if we don't.  Kind of like a Father's Day memorial to them.

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Spanky, I'm very sorry for your loss, and grateful that you had the strength to share this with us. I grew up with very loving parents, but as the youngest of eight my father wasn't really ever involved in the things I did growing up. I don't begrudge him, but will not do that to my three children and try to do as much as I can with them, including fishing.

Thank you again and God bless.

Tom

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That was a great thing you did for your dad, the lake house, boat and taking him fishing. It shows just what an impression he made on you. He must have been one hell of a man and someone i would have loved to meet. People like that are few and far between my friend. For one of them to have been your father should make you proud. And for a man like that to have a son that would do something like that for his dad. Well, i would be the proudest man on earth if my son ended up doing something like that for me one day. I would feel i had done good in the world by helping to raise someone like that.

His passing is sad but from what you told us here i imagine he was very proud of the children he raised and it sounds like he lived his life to the fullest. Taking little ones fishing is one of the greatest things a man can do i firmly believe that.

My prayers and condolences to you and your family.

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:)Thank you all for your thoughts, Prayers and comments. Your words would put one more big smile on my dad's face.

I'ts great  to see that many of you, no matter what, make every effort to spend time with your children. Patience, teaching, quality time- it's not the quantity that instills morals and values in young people. Like some of you, I too am lucky enough to be able to be the "Cool Uncle" with no kids. Every chance I get we go fishing because that's how it should be.

To remember my dad in another way, I am in the process of putting together a glass top coffee table with memories of him in it. The old pink Creme worms he use to fish with, the old metal - lipped jitterbugs he always swore by, the first Rapala he gave me, his fishing hat, pictures of him fishing, his pocket watch he never looked at when we fished, the rod tip to my once favorite rod when he slammed it in the car door, the dollar bill I won from him for the biggest fish on my birthday, and of course the centerpiece is his American Flag. Dad was a Korean War Veteran protecting our Country. Him and I am sure many of you fought so we kids could grow up in the best Country anywhere and fish and hunt. Thank you to all you Veterans!

With permission from the keeper of this website I would like to print the comments made on this thread and make it part of my table to remember him by. Please let me know if this is okay to do.

Thank you all again for your support and prayers.

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Wow. I've got tears in my eyes. Sorry for your loss. I'm calling my dad right now to see if he'll go fishing with me this weekend.

Everything else will have to wait.

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Great post, great memories, and great Dad! I'm glad you have alot of good momories with him.  Sounds like dad's son is a pretty good guy himself. 8-)

For all the guys that are at least thinking about calling dad, do it.  As Spanky and some of us others know, that option is no longer open. :(

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I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I also have many great memories with my dad, and keep gaining more, and just hope I can give my son, or son's come this friday, half the memories and great times he gave me.

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That was beautiful, thank you, and God bless you and your family.

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Thanks for that great post, it really puts thing in perspective.

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