SPEEDBEAD.

Dont feel bad....I had to do the math three times in my head AFTER using the calculator. I think thats the one that screws me up the most. ;D

No excuses....you cant slip away for even a few days? Take a red-eye flight, fish for a day or two and then jet back to Cali.... Sounds like a plan to me!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sure this has either been posted before or some of you have seen it, but it makes me chuckle every time I read it. The last one is great. Attorneys These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you kidding me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Guess. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And the best for last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

What up Trav? Good to see you back in the mix.

Test for Dementia B elow are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are.... First Question: Y o u are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ? Second Question: I f you overtake the last person, then you are...? Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You're not very good at this, are you? Third Question: V ery tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only . Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 . Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 Now add 10 . What is the total? Did you get 5000 ? The correct answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right.... Maybe. Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary. ! Read the question again! Okay, now the bonus round: A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action ! of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants? He j ust has to open his mouth and ask... It's really very simple.... Like you!

EWWWWWWW, nevermind LOL Thats awesome though..... You looking to make your way over to the Big G in March with the rest of the group???

He runs his own finance company in Cali I believe. Robert, cool looking rod....You looking to glue the pieces together on this one? : LOL I gotta ask what the price tag is on something like that? Wayne

I will second that motion for slowest overall.... I will say that the Cavitron is the slowest single I have ever thrown. Wayne

He lives!!!!!!!!

Last time I was in store, BPS had them in stock in the Series 5. Dicks had both series when I was there last week.

There should be a spec plate mounted somewhere in the boat (probably the transom) that shows weight limits and max HP ratings. From a personal opinion, YES....40hp is too much for a 14ft jon boat. Wayne For reference, I have a 16ft bass tracker jon w/ a max HP rating of 30HP

Thats why I love college football

He isnt kidding about beating the dog....Poor Shooter.....

Welcome. There are numerous members here that fish from the shore at least some of the time, many a majority of the time. Great to have you.

Freakin Sweet!!!!!!!!!! Big G, here we come!!!!!!!! Just Mapquested it from Chambersburg, PA....700 miles, 11 hours!!!! That aint nothin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That may be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. This single event has put the downfall of society into perspective for me... If that lawsuit goes through, it should be considered a crime. Unreal.

Cool pics, I agree. But.... AWW HELL NO!!!!!!!! ;D I dont mind picking up a little snake maybe (under 12") but one that big just makes my skin crawl. I know they serve a good purpose w/ pest control, but "out of sight, out of mind" is my policy when it comes to creepy crawlers. Wayne

I gotta know!!!!!!! ;D Just applied for the mortgage on my first house yesterday....gotta know what kind of budget I am looking at. Wayne

I dont know if they have forums, but I am sure there are answers to all your questions here.... www.drphil.com I really am glad that you are not hurt, but I can only hope that it is not at all possible for you to not have anything positive in your life. Wrecked your truck Tools were messed with at school Woman at the bank wouldnt go out with you. Listen man, I look at it this way and I tell each and every one of my clients that gives me a sob story this exact same thing. IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE. AT LEAST YOU WOKE UP BREATHING THIS MORNING. Wayne

As far as I can tell, the guy is trying to grow the biggest bass possible in a small body of water. If you let "nature take its course" (which I would guess by that you mean for him to do nothing), it will result in stunted bass or a massive fish kill due to not enough forage for the fish. Proper management is key to a successful big bass pond, heck, any body of water. Sitting idly as you seem to suggest is counter-productive.

Tipp....Done any fishing lately?

Ok, first time deleted this by accident. I cant control my "mouse finger" : It has been a while since I joined, so I am unfamiliar with the initial confirmation email / PM. Is there some type of message you could send to new members in that initial contact outlining the way you would like people to act with regards to asking questions, posting info, etc? This email could say something to the effect of "Be sure to read the FAQ and other important topics at the top of each forum." This will possibly assuage the inevitable responses of "Read the FAQ, Do a Search, etc." that typically make new members feel unwelcome and ostracized from the get-go. You will also know that each and every person has been explicitly told to read the rules. Just some thoughts.... Wayne

Please tell me you are not serious?

BYE. FPB, like it has been said before....listen to the guys who are catching the big fish. You live in a state w/ some of the best big bass potential in the world. Once you have put in the work, you will be on your way to "the big bite." Keep in mind what your "big bite" will be, though. Will you be satisfied w/ a 6lb bass or are you looking to surpass the 15 pound mark? Either way, keep your eyes on the prize and focus on that specific target. Good luck!! Wayne

Thats weird. I have never heard of a tournament that actually promotes the harvest of fish, especially bass. Good find, nonetheless. Wayne