Old is when you can clearly remember your high school friend's name and birthdate but can't remember if you already taken your meds for the day.

 

That's why I use a pill box that has all my pills for each day of the week. 

Old is when you delete your friend's phone numbers from your phone to make room for more doctor's phone numbers.

Old is when you write notes for needed things, then forget to read them.

 

Old is when you ask your own kids to wear name tags.

 

C22

Old is when you prefer shredded wheat to captain crunch

Old is when you write notes for needed things, then forget to read them.

Old is when you ask your own kids to wear name tags.

C22

Yup, I write a list on my phone for the grocery & forget about it..

You know you are old when the things you like to do become a hassle.

Old is when you have drinks with your pals, and the hangover lasts for days instead of hours. 

Old is when a girl asks you out,

while you're in her apartment.

 

Roger

Hey - this stuff is funny but it's not making me feel any better . . . .

 

Yesterday - even my shadow was complaining of a sore back . . .

 

A-Jay

Old is when you turn to a radio station and hear your all time favorite song, then it ends and the DJ srceams "thanks for listeining to everybodies favorite Classic rock station" . When did Guns & Roses-Paradise City become a classic? I was heart broken that day.

  You know you’re getting old, when they discontinue your blood-type

You can't be tried by a jury of your peers because there are none.

Children often innocently ask you, "What did people do before electricity?" And you can't remember.

You know you're old when things you bought when they were new, are now antiques.

Old==as a kid you could hardly wait to get your Ovaltine secret decoder in the mail. 

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.

Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot.

The iron in your blood turns to lead in your pants.

I have an app that allows me to find my car in a parking lot, being old I can't figure out how to use it.

That's funny! A-Jay.. A dear friend of mine had a haircut done, as he went to pay her, & tip her.. She said this " I'm only going to charge you half price, you hardly have any hair to cut" ouch.. Poor Danny.. He talked about that for years!

 

Which brings to mind a question, or two.

 

When you go to a barber, or maybe a "stylist", how do you choose which hair to cut? 

 

In the same vein, why don't we call a toothbrush a teethbrush? 

 

No politically incorrect jokes about rednecks having one tooth, please.

Nah, give your wife a set of color sharpies, and let her put her imagination to work. We need to see some pics.

 

She could always call Ron Popeil. 

 

Old is when you finally retire and you have stuff to do,

but you keep putting it off to give you something to do!

Mike

Old is when you reject offers of help form others so you will have something to do.

 

My neighbor  and I have a friendly running battle about where the grass mow line is. He mows over on me to take my job so I do the same to him.

I wouldn't know about being old, I'm only 69.

Old is when you starting  caring less & less what people think about you.

 

Old is when you have to take a break between beer breaks, thats old=======that is old

 

Old is when you  have not much more to do than think about what to post on this thread.

 

Old is === ahh never mind its nap time

 

Old is when having "woodie" meant you owned a 1948 Ford station wagon with wood  trim.

I actually did own one in 1962. I possessed the other type woodies also back then also.

 

Old is when winning a fight means you hissed the other guy off worse than he did you.

Old is when you have dry dreams and wet farts.