First off let me apologize for this rant

I will never understand why people play games at my age. Basically what happened was I got lead on by a woman I work with. Back in March we started hanging out after talking daily for about a month. We had a very good time together and always have good connection and deep conversation. She told me I was a great, sweet guy and that she loved me and we should be together. Then when I said ok well I really like you alot lets do this she said I want to but I can't because there's another guy. A few weeks later she got ticked at me and when I said well if its easier maybe we should go back to being just work friends she said thats for the best because I "took what she said out of context" and all this ever was for her is friendship. I thought this kind of s#$% waa supposed to stop by 20 not keep going at 43. Absolutely insane. Zero accountability for her words and actions...its weak and pathetic.

I’m sorry to hear this. The stories I hear from my single friends that are fishing for a keeper can be soul crushing. With that said, if it is what you want, keep casting and maybe switch to a Senko if you get desperate.

When I was a young lad, I was given some advice that has served me well……Never put your meat where you make your bread.

It could be that it was intentional on her part, but I strongly suspect that she's not "playing games", rather she has so many unresolved issues (and lack of internal flashlight) that she really did thoroughly enjoy your time together but can't maintain a consistent emotional balance to have a mature relationship. Be wary, as she may be the type that wants to bounce back and forth in a toxic relationship (no offense to @TOXIC by using that word LOLOLOLOL!).

@TOXIC gives good advice too. Work relationships are either 1 in a million perfect or permanently uncomfortable.

When I'm disappointed, I go fishing. Or when I'm happy, sad, tired, melancholy, cheerful, ambitious, cold, energetic, hot (and not the good kind)...

She sounds like an unstable person.

54 minutes ago, BigAngus752 said:

lack of internal flashlight

I've never read this term, but love it. I'll be using.

@DitchPanda some people just haven't developed introspection and leads to them hurting others. Sorry you're effected by it. Glad you found out early this was the case though, not after things get expensive emotionally and financially.

If something happened to my wife at this point I’d simply devolve into a hermit and collect cats.

Watching my friends or coworkers trying to make meaningful relationships in their 40s has been eye opening. I don’t have the energy or patience to go through it. Our culture only promotes instant success or failure.

Building an open and honest relationship isn’t possible when the person you’re interacting with has social media warped ideals. This isn’t even touching on the glut of unhealthy relationships people have with money and the general lack of accountability I’ve seen.

I think you landed one of those don’t stick your **** in crazy situations.

I learned my lesson from when I was in the military, when our battalion left for 8 month overseas duty the wives would start hanging out at the enlisted mans club, thats why I never married and didnt have a permanent girlfriend.

My friends wives would get word from other wives that so and so wives were cheating and the guys was so ticked off and depressed that one of my friends flew from Puerto Rico all the way back to Pt Hueneme Calif and caught the guy who was cheating with his wife, they divorced when our deployment was over. I was so happy to be single and free.

When my service time was over I played the dating game for 27 years and though i had a good stretch i never was with any woman that I wanted to marry, some smoked, most drank, had kids, broke, wernt outdoorsy, didnt want to or know how to save money, I didnt see a future with their ways.

I got my heart broken one time from a lady in that stretch and it turned me off from american women. I moved to the Philippines to live and married a Panay woman, I was 53 when we married and she was 31, still happily married today and she loves to fish and darn good at it. An old wise man told me " once you go Asian you never go back to Caucasian"

4 hours ago, TOXIC said:

When I was a young lad, I was given some advice that has served me well……Never put your meat where you make your bread.

Ha yeah I'd say that's generally solid advice, however sometimes you just like who you like and honestly I've known several successful couples that met at work.

4 hours ago, BigAngus752 said:

It could be that it was intentional on her part, but I strongly suspect that she's not "playing games", rather she has so many unresolved issues (and lack of internal flashlight) that she really did thoroughly enjoy your time together but can't maintain a consistent emotional balance to have a mature relationship. Be wary, as she may be the type that wants to bounce back and forth in a toxic relationship (no offense to @TOXIC by using that word LOLOLOLOL!).

@TOXIC gives good advice too. Work relationships are either 1 in a million perfect or permanently uncomfortable.

When I'm disappointed, I go fishing. Or when I'm happy, sad, tired, melancholy, cheerful, ambitious, cold, energetic, hot (and not the good kind)...

a mutual friend of ours talked to me about the situation a few weeks back and assured me that yes she did like me as more than a friend but because of unresolved past trauma thinks her feelings for me scared her and made her push me away. He also warned me that she will definitely try to get back into my life at some point. In fact several people have warned of this....haha the lady that cuts my hair has known me for 20+ years and she heard about what happened, small town, so I told her what actually happened and she said be prepared because girls like her ALWAYS come back.

3 hours ago, TNBankFishing said:

If something happened to my wife at this point I’d simply devolve into a hermit and collect cats.

This is me too. At this point I'm not taking a second crack at it should it come to that.

You can keep the cats to yourself tho

1 hour ago, gim said:

This is me too. At this point I'm not taking a second crack at it should it come to that.

You can keep the cats to yourself tho

Ditto, and I’ve told my wife the same. If anything happens to her, me and the dogs would sell up, get an RV that can pull the boat, and hermit the rest of my life.

@DitchPanda - good luck. Just remember to put #1 first and you’ll be just fine.

I dont believe you fellas who say you would hermit up and spend your time alone. My mom died in 2007 and my dad did the hermit thing for 2 years and was now 79 when a friend invited him to go to a picnic.

At this picnic he met a 80 year old woman and started talking and they agreed to go see a movie later that week. they did and from then on they were dating, hanging out and traveling enjoying what was left of their lives.

Dad died at 93, his lady friend died at 86, he always told me he was so lonely just for someone to spend time with and enjoy some adventures with, he never expected to meet another woman and wasnt looking but it happened and it gave him and her some more good years of enjoyment.